I can't love you

Chapter 18

Astrids POV:
I'm stood across from my father holding my sword up. I can see their confused faces. All of them have no idea what he didn't tell us. Why he's slowly been wasting away. He lied to us all for months and now I won't have enough time to forgive him. His hands are still up and he's a little shaky. He's looking anywhere but a persons eyes like it'll hurt too much when he says it. I can see him take slow deep breathes. He pulls a chair out to sit on and slowly lowers his hands onto the table.

I put my sword away but move a little closer to the door. He starts to speak "I'm sorry, Astrids right I did leave this too long. Truth is I was afraid, afraid that you would all look at me with pity for the rest of my life I didn't want that but also because I couldn't face you because then I have to face my people"...

Rosannas POV:
"... face my people it would make it ten times more real but I also didn't want you all to spend months worrying especially with all that's happened recently, you didn't deserve the distraction. I suppose I should tell you now. Around 4 maybe 5 moths ago the healers told me that I was ill. It's a disease we have never seen before but there is no cure. It's slowly been killing me and they say I now have at most a week left before I die." He looks up and meets Lizzies tear filled eyes "I'm sorry my babygirl, I know it wasn't so long ago that you lost your mother again and now you'll be losing me" Lizzie shoots up from her seat and goes straight to her father holding him tightly and crying into his shoulder.

I see Sarah holding Hannah as she cries heavily. Sarah looks lost a little shocked I guess she doesn't really know how to react. It breaks my heart he was like a second father to me.  I look around for Astrid but she's not here. She must've snuck out while we were all listening to her father. I stand up and no one notices so I just make my way out and head to Astrid and mines room. I open the door and see her laid in bed facing a window. From the little sunlight left I can see it reflect off her tear stained face. It sparkles in a way that you see her so beautiful but so sad. 

I take my shoes off and change. Astrids eyes are still open, her breathe a little shaky and she looks a little pale. She exhausted she lost her mother then she lost me then she lost her mother again, then she got me back, then she went to war and had to kill her brother and now she is losing her father and she's had to keep it to lonesome for a week. Anyone in her position would have given up, would've lost all hope but she hasn't.

She lets herself feel for a little while then she pushes it down and carry's on with her life remaining an optimist. Everyone in the kingdom love her and she loves them just as much but write now only for a minute she is young adult who gets to be broken in her wife's arms for the night, the night after that and the one after that. Every night she needs but during the day she is a ruler of a powerful kingdom and she is also a warrior. A warrior mourns when the war has ended. That's what she lives by and no one can blame her.

A walk to the bed and go under the covers. I hold one of Astrids shoulders and turn her towards me. She puts her head on my chest and her arms around my waist while she cries and cries and cries. My arms are around her holding her like my life depends on her. I listen to her sobbing labored breathing as it evens out and she finishes crying herself to sleep. She looks peaceful again, she looks like a young girl who has no worries instead of the young woman with the weight of the world on her shoulders. I watch her until eventually I start to fall asleep.

A/N
Damn everyone is dying I feel mean. At least there's no trouble relationship wise. I think I'm gonna carry this book on till the king dies and her coronation then the book will end, don't know if I'll do a sequel with possible children maybe not sure let me know what you think.