obx imagines jj | rafe

LISTEN TO MY HEARTBEAT | JJ MAYBANK

You knew she shouldn't go to that trip, you told her not to but she didn't listen to you, as always.

After losing your dad a few years ago she was everything you had left.

You just couldn't believe it, your uncle told you on the phone call that your mum died in her sleep, sudden death, but it was senseless she was the most healthy person you've ever knew, she had a super strict diet and every morning ran around the neighborhood as a exercise form.

They say god takes from us the best people sooner, and you were starting to think they were right. At least she felt no pain.

I lifted my head to watch the wall clock, in any minute from now everyone would arrive at John B's as always, you were not going, not like that, not after what happened.

Your house was flooded with your hard crying as picture frames flew all over the room, making it a glass broken disaster, everything you saw ended slammed onto either a wall or the floor.

You kept on punching the kitchen table and all on it fell, the mug from where you drank your coffee earlier that day shattered on the floor, the sound of it making you more anxious; your anger filled every inch of your body at the same time you let your madness leave it by kicking and hitting things. You decided you had enough of that when you saw the blood from your knuckles slide over your hands.

You let you body fall in a corner, knees up to your chest and hands pulling your hair, screaming the word 'fuck' again and again.

"Y/N? are you here baby?" JJ's voice echoed through the now silent spaces of your home as you tried to stop sobbing so he'll think no one was there, "i know you're here, your bike is right beside me and you would never walk on your own right now" you hadn't notice how dark it was outside, you had spent the whole day crying in that little corner.

you didn't answer to him, hoping he would go away eventually.

"i'm coming in k love?" you hid your face with your blood covered hands trying to avoid his glare. It was not the first time he had seen you cry, but it was never this way, you were the one who comforted him and that led you to cry too 'cause you couldn't stand seeing your boyfriend so broken.

"he- what the fuck Y/N?" he ran towards you and tried to make you look at him "your hands are covered in blood love, what happened?" still no answer from you, "come on baby look at me" he begged you but you just moved your head side to side indicating a no.

"go away JJ i can handle this on my own" you mouthed between multiple sobs.

"i'm not sure about that baby" he started petting your head. "god, why do you always think you have to do everything on your own?" JJ whispered but you heard him.

"'cause i have to, i'm supposed to" you answered, still not looking at your golden boy.

"no you don't" he softly said while hugging you close to his chest, "why don't you tell me what happened so we can figure this out together?" you kept denying with your head.

It felt as if the room was becoming smaller with every second and breath you took.

"baby i need you to look at me and explain what's happening" your lovely boyfriend tried to convince you to talk to him.

"no, i can't" tears soaking JJ's t-shirt.

"why Y/N? now you're worrying me even more than when you didn't go to John B's" he kissed your head.

"'cause if i do it means it's real, if i say it out loud it becomes real" you grabbed your arms around the blonde boy's back harder.

"take deep breaths come on" he broke your hug and hold you by your shoulders as he searched for your eyes, you did as he told you and started paying attention on your breathing, "you're doing amazing, go on" JJ cheered on you, "you've always been strong for me, let me return the favor".