supernatural preferences

how they help you deal with depression- Dean

These next parts are dedicated to the lovely Spn_Fam1
💛💛

Dean: There were some days when things would get so overwhelming, you could hardly get out of bed. Your whole body felt heavy, and everything around you had a pressure that felt like it could pin you to the floor. 

Today was one of those days. You had felt Dean leave your side in the morning, crossing your fingers in hopes that he wouldn’t try and wake you. You knew the moment you opened your eyes you wouldn’t leave the bed, and even if you did you would feel like lead. 

Thankfully Dean had left you to “sleep in” giving you the chance to just lay there without worrying that someone would come check on you for at least 30 minutes. So there you stayed, your head buried in your pillow, eyes shut lazily. Too heavy to open no matter how hard you tried. You just felt yourself pinned down by this force that was unshakable. 

You hadn’t even realized how long it had been, but you heard the door open and the sound of feet padding their way over to your side of the bed. Your heart dropped as fear settled in at the thought of being seen this way by Dean. He had never seen this side of you before. He had no idea about you having depression. 

“(y/n), it’s late you should probably wake up now Babe.” Dean whispered. His hand was placed on your arm comfortingly rubbing it up and down. Still your head was buried in the pillow. He leaned down to be face to face with you, moving his hand from your arm to your face gently brushing a stary hair away. 

“Sweetheart, c’mon I know you’re tired but It’s almost 12 now. Let’s get you up.” he said. 
You forced your heavy eyes open and gave a weak smile to your boyfriend. You couldn’t help that it slightly faltered but you hoped he didn’t notice. 
“Oh, I didn’t realize how late it was I’m sorry I must’ve been exhausted. I’ll get up now.” you whispered. Still trying to keep up a front as to not worry Dean, you didn’t want to be a burden. 

To no avail, Dean saw straight through you. You should’ve known he would, he knows you better than you know yourself. 

He could see that you were slowly breaking down in front of him. Trying desperately, clinging to the last piece of string holding the emotions back. He knew the feeling all too well. So looking at him right now was like looking straight into the sun knowing that you couldn’t hide from it forever, and knowing that you couldn’t look away no matter how much you felt the need to. 

“What’s going on (y/n)?” he asked. As you looked at him you just about broke at the concern in his eyes. Everything just shattered.  “Dean, I’m so scared. I’m overwhelmed, I can barely move. I don’t want to move from this bed. I feel helpless. I didn’t mean for you to see me this way. I’m so sorry.” you cried to him. Tears glazing your (e/c) eyes, you buried your head in the pillow once again. Mumbling over and over about how sorry you were. 

Deans eyes widened at your little outburst, not knowing why you hid from him for so long. 

“ You should’ve come to me, I love you I want to be able to see your vulnerable moments. I want to be there for you just like you are for me. I’m sorry I didn’t see this, I should’ve known. I should’ve done something.” he said his voice gruff, but still like velvet. 

“N-no Dean you shouldn’t have to see this, it’s unfair of me to feel this way. Don’t blame yourself, I’ve known how to hide but right now I just I-I can’t anymore. I just can’t.” you say lifting your face. 

He didn’t say anything more, he just took his shoes of and climbed onto the bed next to you. You turned to look at him and he pushed himself further down the bed to be eyelevel with you. Your eyes were puffy, and dark circles encased them. 

“Baby... why didn’t you tell me?” he asked while pressing his forehead to yours. “I don’t want to be a burden, I know there are so many things that are going on. Jack is dead, and so is Rowena, your mother is gone. Everything is falling apart at the seems and I was not about to let this illness destroy me.” you said. Your voice was shaky. 

He looked at you and grasped your face in his warm calloused hand. Rough from years of hunting, but such a comfort to you. “You matter (y/n), you have problems too. You are never a burden. I want to be here for you when you need me. So please let me. I know you want to close off, I’ve been there before and you brought me out of that. I want to do that for you. So please let me.” he said 

He leaned in and pressed a kiss to your lips, not long but full of love. 

“Dean. I need you, please. I don’t want to do this alone anymore.” you mumbled against his lips. “I’m here now, we’ll be ok.. You’ll be ok. We can do this no matter how long it takes.” he pressed another small kiss on your mouth. 

You nodded softly “I love you Dean.”. 
He smiled and said it right back  “ I love you too, now how about I go get us some pie and, or (y/f/s) and we can binge scooby-do today?” you nodded at him with an actual smile finally feeling like you’d be ok. The nightmares won’t go away, but Dean would keep them at bay.”