I love you ◸j.d + t.j◿

.:13:.

tyler eventually told josh that he had to go home and that broke his heart.

he wanted the boy to stay longer but tyler felt he was being a bother.. he'd never tell josh that though.

after he made sure that he had all of his things, he was out the door and was back at home before he even knew it.

once he was inside, he shut the door behind him and sighed.  wow was all he could think of.

he had just stayed the night with joshua once again and he felt like he was on cloud 9. it was such an amazing feeling. he would tell you that it feels like you're walking on water and when you go to fall, a cloud catches you and floats you up to the sky.

he loved that feeling.

he hoped to god he would feel that again sometime soon.

tyler then started to think though.. does joshua feel that way too? or was it just him? he felt like it was just him and only him.

he knew joshua would never love someone like him. who would? he was a crybaby, clingy, needy for hugs n such, and all kinds of things. he thought no one would ever love him the way he loved his joshua.

no one would ever be able to love joshua as much as he did. no one.

he would give his joshua back rubs and play with his hair and whenever he stayed over, he would even make him dinner if he had to!

he bet no one else would ever do that for joshie. absolutely no one!

but what if they did? he thought. now, he was starting to tear up cause what IF someone did love joshua more than him? he knew that had to be impossible but it was still something he couldn't help but think about.

he let out soft, little whimpers and made tiny fists with his itty bitty hands and rubbed his eyes gently, trying to get the tears to go away but they don't.

they were streaming down his rosy cheeks as he sobbed awfully in front of his door before rushing off to his room. he plopped down on the bed and pulled one of his stuffies close to his chest.

you're so pathetic. no wonder joshie doesn't want you he thought to himself and that only made him cry harder.

his little body was shaking now. he started to nibble on his stuffies ear and started to immediately feel bad. "'m sowwy, bambi.." it was a bit muffled since he had the small, stuffed deers ear in between his teeth but you could understand what he said.

he sniffled every now and then and rubbed his eyes again as he began to calm down.

he was so tired. his little body couldn't handle his strong emotions so the small boy was out in just a few minutes.

all he could think about though was his joshua..

his sweet.. sweet joshua.

"n-nigh' nigh' joshie.. wuv you's s'much." he mumbled and let out one last soft whimper before he fell asleep, clutching onto his bambi.

—

oh god i'm so sorry it's been so long !! i thought i would've updated after my friend left but i didn't n i'm so sorry ! i was having a really tough time with things and i still sorta am.

my grandfather had passed back in august and he was one of my best friends so you could only imagine how heartbroken i was.

on this little flower thing i got for the funeral, i was able to write something on the card and i put down "you were won of those classic ones." and my mother had started crying heh

i miss him more and more every day but at least now he wasn't in any pain. he's in a better place.

but anyways, thank you all for sticking with me and thank you for 37.7k reads ! what?! this book is also #32 in the twenty one pilots hashtag! that's insane ! thank you all sm ! i appreciate every single one of you and i hope i get to see you all again soon.

love you mwah !! ~<3