UNCHANGEABLE - SEULRENE

SR - the wedding

"i knew you were just fucking each other," says amber, looking up and blowing smoke out of her mouth.

seulgi glares at her former comrade. "why do things usually sound bad whenever they come out of your mouth?"

amber chuckles. "when i heard the news about you two hanging out, i knew it's all about sex. everyone knows this chick of yours has a reputation of playing around."

amber nods her head in the direction of their table where jisoo is talking animatedly to krystal and byulyi. "i'm still asking myself what were you thinking when you got yourself involved with her. i've never seen you as someone who'll take things casually."

seulgi takes a deep breath in, inhaling the fresh sea breeze. "i guess this is my way of trying to live a normal life. this is what all of you wanted, for me to mingle again, right?"

"well, yes, we want that. more importantly, we want you to be happy. are you happy with her?"

seulgi thinks for a moment. "she... she makes me feel things..."

"things..." amber smirks. "that's your libido speaking, man." seulgi throws a dried leaf her way, and she laughs. "c'mon. you won't be joining me here in my cig break if you're really into her. you're not even a smoker."

seulgi sighs. "i don't know... i just... i guess i want to step out here and loosen up a bit. there are many people inside."

amber hums, putting the cigarette back into her mouth, inhaling a waft of smoke, before blowing it in the opposite direction. "it's still the milf, right?"

"milf?"

"'mom-i'd-like-to-fuck'." amber quotes with her fingers. seulgi punches her arm. "yah! i'm just trying to lighten up the mood! chill, man!"

"don't talk about her in that way," says seulgi, brows furrowed.

"i know. i'm sorry. she's still hot though," says amber. seulgi raises her hand for another smack. "i'm just saying! on a serious note, it's still the mother of the kid we saved from two years ago, right?"

seulgi says nothing. she turns away from amber and looks far ahead.

"admirable," says amber.

"it sucks, to be honest." seulgi sighs. "it's like i'm stuck in the same place while her life keeps moving. i don't fucking know why my brain is still not accepting it's already over for us. it's been like what, nine years?"

they leave the topic hanging in the air for a moment while feeling the blow of the wind and listening to echoes of the sea waves.

"to be honest, i wouldn't blame you for still hoping," says amber. "i've seen how uncomfy she looked when jisoo came. i and krystal were observing her the whole time while you and jisoo pda-ed. you guys ruined her mood.

"i'm not blind. i can tell if someone's faking a smile or not. and she's trying her best to fake a damn good smile when jisoo arrived," amber adds. "maybe you're stuck at where you are now because you know she still feels the same way? why don't you talk to her about it and see what happens?"

"and try to get them to divorce? no, thanks."

"isn't that what you want, to get her back?

"i won't lie that i secretly wish they would break up. but i'm worried about yerim. she's too young to experience something like that. i don't want her to go through that pain. more importantly, i don't want to be the reason for that pain of hers."

amber takes one last puff of the cigarette before throwing the bud in the trash can. "tough..." she grimaces. "you love the mother, but you also love the kid."