UNCHANGEABLE - SEULRENE

SR - pussy mango

as time goes by, seulgi's days were filled with visits from joohyun, seungwan, yerim, and occasional talks with sunmi whenever they see each other in the hallway.

it still amazes seulgi how this is happening to her now. after her painful talk with joohyun two years ago, it never occurred to her she'll get the chance to see the woman again, especially not regularly.

and it's not simply seeing each other. joohyun is making an effort to visit, bring food, and help seulgi clean up and change. and whenever joohyun's shift is in the morning, her afternoon visits will always include the ever bubbly yerim. they would usually end the day with the three of them sharing dinner together before the mother-and-child goes home.

seulgi's not sure if junmyeon's absence during these times is good or not. because the longer this is happening, the closer yerim gets to her. and joohyun, well, she is slowly letting her guard down.

it started during their first movie together one friday evening. junmyeon was called for a surgical procedure in another town. joohyun and yerim decided to stay for the night for some movies--as requested by the latter.

of course, yerim sits in between the adults. seulgi feels this is the safest position for the three of them. and she thinks joohyun feels the same as the latter always calls yerim to sit back in the middle whenever the kid stands up or gets off the couch.

the movie's already halfway done when yerim's arm, who's lying on seulgi's lap while watching, slides down. that's when she and joohyun realise the kid has fallen asleep and is already drooling on seulgi's pyjamas.

not wanting to wake up the sleeping kid, joohyun places a pillow in between yerim's head and seulgi's leg. joohyun scoots closer, so yerim's legs were on her lap.

it was awkward at first, but as soon as the tension settles down--with the help of the comedy movie--seulgi feels comfortable, contented, and satisfied.

seulgi strokes yerim's side, and she's loving the feeling this simple setting brings her.

this could have been her family if she hadn't given up before--if she hadn't chosen sau over joohyun.

this would have been hers if she fought a little for joohyun, if she had stayed that night in that hotel room.

it took her time to admit it to herself. but the reality is, as much as she loves joohyun, her burning desire to be part of sau was much greater. and finding out that joohyun is enjoying the company of another person is an opportunity seulgi took to choose the path she'd always planned to take.

that decision led her broken until now.

"you're having that faraway look again. you're thinking of something, aren't you?" joohyun places a hand over seulgi's. "if it's in any way related to the past, or your regrets, please drop it now. it won't help. it may cause you another attack."

seulgi's eyes stay on the sleeping kid.

"focus on the present, seulgi. live in the moment. that's the only way for you to have a better future."

seulgi looks ahead without saying a word. she wonders what the universe has in store for her future because the only thing she wants is the woman beside her and the kid on her lap.

live in the moment. that's what joohyun said.

live in the moment.

she hopes this moment won't end.

the movie continues to play, and joohyun's hand stays on top of hers.

---

the strong wind blows, and seulgi jerks when she hears her front door latch shut.