Jiang Cheng does not believe in the concept of soulmates or eternal love. He is not sure if he will meet his fated one in this life. He wouldn't have dared to think that he has a soulmate, if he didn't feel the other's emotions now and then. yeah...
Neither the newly arrived retriever puppies nor his favorite rottweiler could lift his moods for the rest of the day. He was confused and irritated by the feelings gnawing at his heart. He shouldn't have looked into those amber-colored eyes. At least for a moment, he felt that somebody saw him, the real him; that somebody was looking at him without any judgment. What surprised him is that he didn't feel vulnerable like he feels when Wuxian or sometimes even Shi-jie asks him if he is fine. He didn't feel like he should mask his feelings, his insecurities, or the fact that he is having breakdowns these days. It felt nice, it really did. Sometimes what he wishes for is just a shoulder to lean on. He could go to his shi-jie or Wuxian for a hug but he didn't want to them worry about him. He was building a fort around his heart, keeping his dreams shut within it, slowly accepting the future his parents have designed for him. He thought that no one will know, no one will notice his fragile heart. But when those eyes looked into him, he hoped for a moment, that maybe somebody will understand him. But that was a mistake. He shouldn't have hoped; now it hurts more because Xichen already said goodbye.
Didn't he?
Cheng shook his head. No, he shouldn't wish for more, it'll bring more pain and nothing else. But why did he feel such warmth in Xichen's presence? Cheng took a shaky breath.
Is it him?
Then he won't be the only one who felt that warmth. But Xichen..he looked so perfect, too perfect to be his soulmate. Maybe that's why Xichen didn't say anything about it.
oh! is this what rejection feels like?
Cheng rubbed his aching chest. It's not like he expected his soulmate to accept him. But he can't deny the fact that a small part of his heart wished that he would be accepted, that when his siblings move on their with their lives, when the burden of responsibilities will be bestowed upon him, he'll have someone to lean on, someone to hug him and tell him that he can do it, someone who will trust him, believe in him. He sighed.
Maybe that is too much to ask for.
At least he has a family, not a perfect one, but there are still people who love him. He knew that they will drift away when the time comes, everyone will leave. But he can hold on to the memories, anyway. But what about the kids like Jingyi? They don't even have a family.
"cheng, are you alright?" Cheng was startled at the voice. He saw Mianmian standing at the doorway with a worried expression.
"huh? what did you ask?"
"You look.. not so good. Is something bothering you? You didn't hear me when I called you."
"no. I'm alright. I was just..thinking..about stuff." Mianmian nodded and didn't ask anymore. That is why he liked her, she knew when to stop.
"our shift is over."
"oh! yeah." Cheng stood up and gave the rottweiler pup a small kiss before putting it in its cage.
"let's go." They walked into the street, now more alive. They walked past the park, buzzing with kids, their parents, and a few groups of youngsters goofing around. Usually, on these evening strolls, Cheng lets his mind wander, his eyes take in the peaceful lives around him which he transfers into the canvas at night. But today his mind is turbulent, he didn't even spare a glance at the people around him.
"Mianmian, have you met your soulmate yet?" She was surprised at the question. Of course, this is not a question people would expect from Cheng.
"yup. You know my boyfriend, don't you?"
"oh! he is your soulmate?"
"yesss. why do you sound surprised? Did you have any plan to hit on me if he was not my soulmate?"
Cheng rolled his eyes. Mianmian laughed and hit his shoulder.
'Now, now. Why is my grumpy kid suddenly asking about romantic things?" Cheng shrugged his shoulders. Mianmian raised an eyebrow at him.
"I was wondering how many around me is in the 'single for the lifetime' list?"
"Are you in it?" Cheng snorted.
"of course. Do you have to ask?"
"really Cheng? for a lifetime?" Cheng nodded his head and sighed.
"yeah, I guess."
Mianmian knew that it is better to leave it at that.
Cheng was welcomed by Wuxian's high-pitched voice singing a melody when he got into his apartment. Seems like his brother is in a very good mood.
"A-Chenggg, you are back." Wuxian came running to him, with a coffee cup, filled up to the brim.
"here, I made you coffee" Cheng raised his eyebrows at his brother.
"what got you in such a good mood? is this poisoned?" Wuxian huffed and then winked at him.
"guess whom I met today?"
"..."
"MY BROTHER IN LAW. WE HAD LUNCH TOGETHER. HE IS SUCH A GOOD GUY. WE BECAME FRIENDS WITHIN MINUTES. HE EVEN PROMISED TO SEND ME LAN ZHAN'S CHILDHOOD PHOTOS!! OMG, HE SHOWED ME SOME ON HIS PHONE. LAN ZHAN IS SO CUTEE"
Cheng rolled his eyes.
"Can I get some rest now? I'm tired."
"arrgghh, you are no fun. WAIT. WHAT IS THIS? WHY IS YOUR ARM PATCHED UP? WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR ARM? WHO DID THIS TO YOU? I'LL FUCKING KILL.."
"omg, Wuxian. don't overreact. it's just a small wound." Wuxian opened his mouth again to protest.
"please don't ask me what happened. later. I'll tell you later." Cheng said in a resigned tone. Wuxian shut his mouth and looked at him worried. Cheng gulped. He hated this. He hated it when he made his siblings worry about him.
"later.." Cheng said and walked past Wuxian in to his room. He shut the door behind him and fell onto the bed.
Wuxian is happy, finally. After everything, he got what he wished the most. He deserves to be happy. Cheng does not want his problems to lessen that happiness. His problems will be his own. He is not going to complain to anyone. But he wanted to know just one thing-
