Ships Passing In The Night ｜Markhyuck (OT21 AU)

Chapter 44

TW: Depressive thoughts. It's not too intense, but Donghyuck goes through it a little bit here, so be warned.

After the euphoric high of Thursday afternoon, helping three of his favourite people to confront their feelings for each other, for Donghyuck, the rest of the week was bound to be a bit of an anti-climax. Despite regular check-ins with Dongyoung, he was still struggling to sort through the ugly tangle of feelings that had been stirred up at the dance showcase the previous weekend.

The aborted attempt to find a way home, the crushing disappointment that he'd been forced to hide when it had failed, and the realisation that he had allowed his own selfish desires to override his basic human decency; all of that hopelessness and shame had slowly started to eat away at Donghyuck every single day since, whenever he allowed himself to stop and dwell on the pathetic truth that had become his existence.

He knew that some of what he felt was wholly irrational, and that he was being altogether too hard on himself, but that didn't make the pressure in his chest as he lay down to sleep any less suffocating. It certainly didn't make his dreams, which had begun to heavily feature the two faces he'd been trying so hard not to dwell on, any easier to wake up from. Every morning since then had featured an internal battle for composure, alongside a struggle just to get out of bed, and Donghyuck was ready to admit that he was exhausted.

He knew that most of the others had noticed too--even Jaehyun had sounded mildly concerned about his health in their latest call--but he was determined to power on through and wait out his homesickness alone. Granted, that had never worked out for him before, but he knew he had to try something. He couldn't let his worries pull everyone else down with him, especially when his friends were all just starting to find their own happiness, so Donghyuck did what Donghyuck did best. He bottled it all up, cranked the charm to eleven, and kept on smiling through the pain.

If he'd known then just how far he was about to fall, he would have--well, he wasn't sure what he would have done, but hindsight was a wonderful thing.

That Friday passed almost without note, save for how Jeno spent lunch wedged so tightly in between Renjun and Jaemin on their bench in the cafeteria that Donghyuck was impressed that he could still breathe freely. No one outside of their immediate group seemed to notice the subtle shift in dynamic, which had been intentionally downplayed for the sake of all involved, but he thought that the absence of any kind of discernible tension as they ate their lunch that day made for a nice change.

On Saturday morning, Jeno had an away game a few towns over, and was due to leave ridiculously early on the team bus with Yukhei and the rest of the soccer team. On Friday afternoon, he invited Renjun and Jaemin to go along last minute, pointing out that it would be a great opportunity for them to spend time together casually after the game, just the three of them, so that they could start to figure out whatever it was that was going on between them.

Donghyuck was all in favour of this, despite Renjun's guilt at not taking him with them, and he expressed that sentiment throughout most of their impromptu board game night that evening. It took several rounds of Monopoly, with Jaemin and Jeno happily cheating whenever banker Renjun was otherwise distracted, but eventually the older boy relented and agreed to go.

"We're such bad friends," Renjun bemoaned for the umpteenth time, as he sprawled across the couch in Donghyuck's living room, clinging to Jaemin's arm for emotional support. Jeno tried to reason with him yet again, to no avail, while Jaemin simply ate all the snacks within reach with his free hand. Eventually, Donghyuck had to remind the older boy that he had a full principal cast rehearsal of the musical all day anyway, so he would surely be able to survive a few short hours without them.