Jane And Austin

Chapter 24- Steve

[Recap- Jane visits Austin's house and there is something which is troubling her. The family picture.]

Austin's arms felt like a place where I could rejoice, where I could feel a million emotions running around me, tickling my heart making it harder for me to stay calm. Breathe in. Breathe out. While I was locked in his arms, my hands were intertwined around him. The way to someone's terrace had never felt so beautiful. Also, it was the only time where I felt happy about being paralysed. (What would I not give to feel that again?)

When you want the time to last, it passes like the breeze blowing past you. You can never hold it. He held me at the gates, paused for a second as if he was afraid or shy about something, and before that second could blow past me like air, I kissed him. Lips. Millisecond. He kissed me back. Lips. Millisecond. And we chuckled.

The stars were all around us as if we were not on the earth, but in the space. Ironically, there was no space between us. There were hints of cloud around some stars and amidst it was the moon. Bright. Brightest maybe. It was glistening. It was beautiful. One of the most beautiful I had ever seen, but besides me there was something equally interesting and beautiful
Accompanying me was also an enigma which was worrying and nudging me constantly. The family picture.

While we sat on the blanket, holding hands and my head was on his shoulders, he narrated me the stories from his school. How he never was a part of the school's football team because the captain of the team thought Austin would get all the attention, how famous he was at school for playing guitar and a lot of other things.
"A lot of girls have asked me out, but I have never felt the urge in me to know someone until I saw you."

"But.. how could you love someone like me?"

"I have told that to you, but anyways, I think you never look for love. Love looks for you, Jane Brown," Austin said, staring at the moonlit sky.
And, I couldn't help, but wonder how did I get a guy who is the best. Who sings. Who writes. Who makes me laugh. Who is philosophical. Who is.. hot. And the most importantly, who loves me from the core of his heart. It was too good to be true for a girl who was paralysed, but indeed it was true. And my brain had drawn the conclusion.

Maybe, it was because I had been through too much pain and it was universe's way balancing. Either way, I was happy. It felt like someone had brought the world into my room and it also felt like my word was just beside me, caressing me.

"I mean, isn't it demeaning for people to be friends with someone who isn't 'normal'? I mean.. you always you knew I couldn't walk."

"Do you really think I care?"

"I don't know."

"You don't notice things about yourself. There is so much more to you from my perspective than just a girl who is paralysed. There's this side of you, which is kind. Do you think I never realised why you tried to push me away? After I got to know you more, I knew you were afraid for me.. For yourself.. I knew you never wanted anyone else to be at Jamie's place. You simply blamed yourself when it wasn't even your fault, and I knew you were protecting me, even though we barely knew each other. And yeah, you are not normal, but I didn't want someone normal. I wanted someone special, and you are just that. Do you know what quality I value the most?"

I processed those words as I found myself falling more deeply in the abyss of love. I thought for a while before murmuring, "Empathy?"

"Loyalty. I know you love me a lot, but I also have made peace with you loving Jaime. You have always been loyal to me, and I also know you will always be loyal to me. And the best of all, you are loyal to Susan. Do you ever realise how you were ready to give up someone who was growing flowers on your barren heart for her? You never let us be together until you made sure that Susan was okay with it. And do you ever realise how beautiful you are just being yourself? I value the inside more than the outside, but damn, you are beautiful inside out. I love you, and I know I don't need to say it every time."
I took my time to process everything, to process the happiness which accompanied the words, to realize how special it made me feel. I tried to arrange my words and say something special, but I was not Austin. He was different. He was the best.