we're just friends! | rosékook

paying the price

"Chae, I'm just stepping out to get something to drink, ok?" That's what Lisa said before she left the study room. Jaehyun watched her as she stepped out, but he did not miss the warning glare that she shot him before that. It felt like she knew something, but he wasn't sure. Chaeyoung was diligently writing something on her notebook, not noticing that he was preparing himself to grab this opportunity. this is his chance. He's not letting it go. He can deal with Lisa later.

"Hey, chae?" Jaehyun called her, making her look up from her books.

"Hm?" she replied.

"I wanted to tell you something." Jaehyun would be lying if he said he wasn't nervous. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, but he ignored it. He has to tell her before it's too late.

"What is it?" Chaeyoung asked, visibly confused. Jaehyun let out a deep breath, trying to stabilize himself before he said it, once and for all.

"You know the anon that's been giving you messages all this time?" He started, and god he wished he practiced this a few times before coming here. 

Chaeyoung widened her eyes and averted her eyes towards the table, letting out a defeated sigh. "Yeah…" she replied.

"well… I know who it is." he added.

Chaeyoung jerked her head back up, shock and surprise flooding her expression as she looked at the person sitting in front of him with a newfound hope. He knows who it is. He can help her talk to this person so they can stop bothering her. He can help her end this and everything will be back to normal.

"y-you do??" she exclaimed. Jaehyun nodded, smiling a little to see her excited. He felt a little relaxed. She really wants to know who it is, huh? Maybe he really stands a chance after all.

Jaehyun debated whether he should ask what she feels about this person before the revelation, because there's still a chance that she might not like him after all. But he was tired of waiting, and playing too. Because he is not like this – or at least... he wasn't like this.

"i-it's me." He said. He finally said it. He quickly looked down as soon as the words came out of his mouth, fearing to see what her initial reaction would be. It's not like he wasn't aware of her tweets, or her friends defending her online. He was aware of it. But this innocent crush on her friend made him too obsessive to care. Too greedy to make rational decisions. He just wanted her. He wanted to make her his own.

"I've had a crush on you ever since we met, and I really really like you. It was a casual crush, but ever since we became closer I felt myself falling for you more and more everyday. I just wanted to make you mine. The anon messages were supposed to be a one time thing just to make you feel more popular, but then it became my main connection to you. It was the only way I could show you how much I care for you, and how much I want you." Jaehyun continued, keeping his gaze on the table because he was still too nervous to look at her face. He was not ready. He really should've prepared himself a bit more.

"The anon message was my only way to draw your attention, because you always seem to be close to Jungkook– well, let's not bring him up. I know I can never replace him but I really want to make a mark on your heart. Park chaeyoung, will you–" he finally gathered the courage to look at her face, but words got stuck in his throat as soon as he looked back up.

Chaeyoung was frozen in her seat, eyes brimming with tears and visible fear on her face. Yes, fear. Jaehyun couldn't bring himself to finish that sentence. What was this expression? Why does she look so scared of him? He did not imagine his confession going this way. Chaeyoung looked... terrified of him.

"Chae–"

"Oh my god, the line in front of the vending machine was INSANE! it took me so long to get this juice pack– wait, what's going on here?" Lisa's voice boomed in the tiny cabin. Both Jaehyun and Chaeyoung did not reply, and sat frozen, not acknowledging that Lisa had arrived.

"Why are you two quiet– wait, did you say something to her???" Lisa asked worriedly, her voice raising a bit. "Why is chae so quiet, what did you do??"

What has he done? That's a good question. What has he done?

Chaeyoung stood up quickly, dropping her pen and grabbing her bag. She rushed her way out the room, not saying a word and wiping her eyes on her way out.

Lisa ran her finger through her hair frustratingly and grabbed chaeyoung's textbooks and her own bag, probably to follow her best friend. But before leaving she looked back at jaehyun with pure anger in her eyes.

"If anything happens to her, you're gonna pay the full price." She said before leaving.

Jaehyun slowly closed his eyes and rested his head on the table. The full weight of the situation was dawning on him. He was realising the obvious drawbacks of his plan, now that chaeyoung walked out of the room, and possibly his life. His brain felt fuzzy and it seemed like someone was pounding his head with a hammer. What has he done? Why did he do it? Why didn't he realise it sooner? Why did he turn so obsessive that he couldn't see what was bothering the person he loved?

It's too late now. It's too late to think about all that.

She's gone. And she's probably never turning back.