The Bright Side of Darkness

Thirty

Now that I'm here, about to say the words, my heart stutters. Three words that can change the course of our relationship. Three words to reveal what I've been too afraid to admit in fear that I'll lose the girl in front of me. They're right on the tip of my tongue, fighting to break through my lips.

But Emori has always been there. On our first day of kindergarten, the button on her pants broke and everyone teased her for it. Every time I heard someone call her fat, I'd set the record straight.

Eventually, the taunting stopped until high school, and then it got so much worse. We've been friends since then, and I've never thought of her as anything more. She helped me through my parents' fighting, and through my jealousy when Lottie became the youngest child. Every time I felt guilty about breaking up with someone, she never failed to make me feel better. Even though I haven't been there for her in so long.

And now, as she stares up at me, it hits me that this is why I'm afraid of love. I don't want to love someone because I fear that I'll put myself out there and risk getting my heart crushed. Most of all, I don't want to admit that I've been in love with Emori for years.

But now I'm ready. "I love you."

She lets out a sound similar to a croak, and I immediately regret saying anything.

Just when I'm about to apologize, she leans up and kisses me softly. "I love you too."

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and pull her closer. The tour is probably just about over now, but I'm going to hold her for as long as I can. Because here, in our little bubble of happiness, nothing can hurt us.

By the time Jackson and Travis get back, it's somewhere around noon. With the peppy woman gone, they seem a lot less excited about the campus visit than they were initially. Their feet scuff against the ground as they drag them.

"I am never coming here as long as that... devil woman is here." Travis collapses onto the grass beside the bench and groans.

"She was just way too much," Jackson agrees as he takes a seat on the bench beside us.

"So, it's agreed this college isn't for any of us?" I grin.

"Definitely," they all respond.

—

Since I told Emori I love her, she's been particularly happy. I can't wait for her to come over later. Nothing can make me come down from this high.

Someone knocks on my front door, and I groan as I put my bowl of nachos down. Whoever it is better make it worthwhile if I have to pause my listening marathon of The Resident to answer the damn door. Someone better be dead or dying. When I open the door, Jackson grunts in surprise.

Wet raindrops assault my skin and sink into my clothes, and I shiver against it. "What's up? Why aren't you at school?" I step back to let him in out of the rain. Concerned, I wait for him to speak.

"There's a rumor going around at school."

I shrug my shoulders. And? Rumors aren't anything new in Norton Valley. People love to gossip and spread lies. Especially the elders and bored housewives. The curse of living in a small town. But his reluctance to speak has me on edge. It has to be about me. I'm not sure I want to know what it is.

"Roxie has been telling everyone you slept with her while you and Emori were together," he blurts out, stepping back a little to gauge my reaction.

"She did what?" I growl, clenching my fists. My ears get warm as my heart sinks into my stomach.

"I've been trying to tell everyone that she's lying - that it doesn't make sense, but I don't know if it's gonna work." I can tell he's stressed by his tone. He slams his hands against the counter. "Conniving bitch."

Jackson jumps as the door opens again. The atmosphere in the house shifts and becomes heavy, adding the weight of dread to my shoulders. This can't be good. How am I supposed to explain this to her? Tentatively, I turn around, preparing my defense. We sit there for a moment in silence. I'm not sure what she's going to say, but I'm not going to let her walk away without hearing my side.

"Is it true?" Her voice is strangled like she's been crying.

"C'mon, babe, you can't honestly -"

"Answer the damn question." Emori sniffs. Her voice is low and on the verge of breaking. She wants answers, and she needs them now.

My eyes widen as I stand there, stunned. She actually swore at me. I'm not sure which is scarier. The fact that she heard Roxie's stupid ass rumor or the fact that shamelessly cursed at me.

"No, it's not. I know what Roxie has been telling everyone, but you gotta believe me, Em." I run a hand through my hair and give her a pleading look. She has to believe me. She can't possibly think that I could have done that to her, right? I'm not that guy. Never have been. I haven't had the time, lately, either. Roxie has always been a liar and a snake. Who is more believable here?

"I-I don't know what to believe." She takes a step towards the door. "I want to believe you, but I don't know if I can. I need to think this over." She shakes her head. "I'm so sorry." She turns and runs out of the house.

"Emori, wait!" I stumble forward, reaching out to steady myself. But, by the time I get my bearings, she's already gone. "Dammit!"

"Tay -" Jackson starts.

"Son of a bitch!" I shout, hurling my fist towards the wall. I slam both hands into the wall repeatedly, ignoring how much it hurts and how mad Dad will be. At this point, I don't care.

She did it. Roxie actually fucking did it. She managed to ruin everything I've worked toward since the accident. If that was her goal, maybe now she can be happy that she screwed everything up. Happy that she stole the only thing I had left.

What's worse is the fact that Emori actually believes it. She has a brain, so why doesn't she use it? She's naive, but she isn't dumb. She knows what Roxie is like. I told her enough about Roxie to build a whole fucking character profile. She's a pathological liar looking for any drama to distract her from her home life. Doesn't Emori get that?

When my fists can't take it anymore, I slump to the ground. Jackson takes my hands in his and tries to clean them off, but I yank them away. I don't need his help right now. Right now, I need to calm down.

"Tay, you gotta let me clean your hands. They're bleeding and covered in drywall." Jackson grabs my hands again, and I let them lay limp in his grip. I don't have the energy to fight him. There isn't enough energy in the world right now to make me do anything but wallow.

"Your dad is gonna be pissed," Jackson mutters, holding a damp cloth to my knuckles.

"Let him be. I don't care." My voice breaks as I lean my head against the wall behind me. Dad will be pissed no matter what I do. Ma is the only one I should worry about. But even that doesn't matter. I'll deal with that when it comes to it.