The Bright Side of Darkness

Thirty-Two

Any other day, it would be Travis and I comforting Jackson through a breakup. Lord knows he's had so many. But today, Jackson and I switch roles - even though mine wasn't technically a breakup. At least, not that I knew.

Emori left about two hours ago, and after coming home to raid the freezer and pantry, Lottie left as well. She didn't say anything, just grabbed snacks and left.

"Roxie's a bitch. Em will come to realize that sooner or later." Travis pats my back as he hands me a bag of chips, then sits across from me.

Jackson is beside me on the couch, flipping through TV channels. Since I let him clean my fists up, he's been quiet. I can't tell if he's thinking or simply staying quiet.

"I'm fine." I gesture with my hands for emphasis. "It's fine. Everything's fine."

Am I trying to reassure them or myself?

"Okay, then," Travis says. "You guys wanna play a game or something?"

I shake my head. While the surgery is working and my sight is coming back, everything is still blurry. Like someone with normal sight is trying to use glasses with a strong prescription. It will still be a while before I can play games with the boys.

"Why didn't you tell me she can be so damn stubborn?" Lottie slams the door open and shuts it behind her before she plops onto the couch beside me.

"What do you mean?" I scowl at her as she yanks the chip bag from my grasp.

"All this drama." She waves her blurry hand around the room frivolously. Her hand whips around to me. "And you." She wags it in my face, barely missing my nose. "You're not very helpful, just sitting over here, waiting for it to blow over."

Travis shifts on the floor, cracking open another can of coke. "She's right, you know."

No shit, Sherlock. I know that. But comforting girls was never my strong suit. If Lottie is having cramps during her time of the month, I'll buy her stuff or bring warm blankets, but I still keep my distance. Lottie's never had a boyfriend before, so who knows what a breakup is like for a girl? Not me.

"Now, girl advice isn't quite my forte," Jackson begins, "especially considering my most recent breakup." He chuckles sheepishly but doesn't bother elaborating. "But Emori is hurting, and Roxie is an attention seeker. All of us know nothing happened" - he gestures towards Emori's house - "but she doesn't. For all she knows, Roxie could be telling the truth."

I never thought about Emori's side. With a past like hers, it isn't a surprise that she's naturally suspicious of everyone. I can understand that, but... it still stings. I hope she'll come around eventually, but that doesn't feel like a reality when half the school is whispering in her ear.

"We all know Roxie isn't going to admit that she's lying. So, the only thing we can do is give Emori some time to think it over and come to her senses. And if she doesn't, tough shit. It happens." Travis stands up and knocks his fist lightly against my head. It's a tradition the football team has when someone needs an extra boost of luck. Involuntarily, a smile creeps onto my face.

I still feel like shit, but I know I can count on the guys and Lottie to make me feel better. They're my closest friends. Their tough-luck attitudes can get me through anything.

The door opens again, and I immediately cringe, preparing myself for the amount of scolding I'm about to receive.

"Why the hell is there a hole in the wall?" Upon hearing my father's question, Ma gasps as she notices the hole as well. "Mateo Lee Perez Junior!"

"He's using the full name," Lottie mutters as she ushers Jackson and Travis out of their seats and toward the back door.

I scramble off the couch and into the kitchen to face my furious father. Ma is already trying out different picture frames to cover the hole, while Dad stands there, arms crossed over his chest. The last time he was this angry was after Gavin's autopsy showed he was drunk when he died.

"I'm tired of you taking things out on the house." His hand whips toward the wall, and I flinch. "That's the fourth hole in the past four and a half goddamn months! It has to stop!"

"Pa, I'm sorry," I begin, my hands hanging limp at my sides. They're still bandaged, and I can sense his gaze dropping to examine them.

"Dammit, Tay." He sighs, picking up my hands to examine Jackson's bandaging skills. "It was that girl, wasn't it?

I keep my gaze on the floor. He doesn't have to ask. He already knows the answer. I'm not sure what he'll do or what type of discipline is coming, but I can't bring myself to look at him.

"Honey, I think we oughta leave him alone right now." Ma steps closer to Dad and gestures to my room. "Go ahead, Tay. We'll talk later."

Thank God for Ma's ability to calm my dad down. I mean, he won't lay a hand on me. On anyone. Never has. But sometimes I wish he would. It would be so much better than the obvious disappointment. That's always enough to send my mind spiraling. Dad has never been one for confrontation. Neither is Ma. But when one of them has to scold someone, it's usually Dad. And it always sucks when it's time to dole out punishments.

I drag my feet all the way to my room and sit on my bed. The sound coming from the diffuser is the only thing I focus on. It fizzes as it sends scented mist toward my face. Ma and Dad talk in hushed tones downstairs, but the walls are thin. Making out what they're saying is impossible, but I know they're discussing what to do. Ma will come to my defense, using Gavin as an example, and Dad will just listen along and discuss a punishment even though he won't do anything about it.

Lottie knocks on my door. "Tay?"

I grunt, and she enters the room and sets a plate down beside me.

"PB pie." She takes a seat on my bed. "I made it this time, so if anything is off, feel free to insult me all you want."

I chuckle, but my heart isn't in it. "You suck at cheering people up, you know."

She throws her hands up. "That's Mom's department, not mine. I never knew what comfort was before her."

I lean my elbow against my desk and rest my face in my palm. The last time I felt this bad was when I set half of Gavin's clothes on fire after the accident in an attempt to get rid of the memories trapped in my head. Both of my parents were mad at me, then. Neither of them talked to me for a week. Probably couldn't even look at me.

"Hard to think so much has changed in such a little amount of time, huh?" I twirl a pen between my fingers as my fist throbs. The Ibuprofen is wearing off already, but I don't have the energy to get more. I deserve the pain anyway. Dumbass. "I don't know why I expected anything different, though."

Lottie stands up and walks over to me. I figured she might pat my head or ruffle my hair, but instead, her hand comes into contact with the side of my head and leaves a stinging sensation.

"Ow!" I rub the spot, glaring at her. "What the hell was that for?"

"Life is too short to give up, dumbass." She crosses her arms. "So, fight, Tay. Prove that she's the one you care about!"

I'm not sure I can. The fact that Emori believes I would do something like this makes me wonder what everyone else thinks of me. If the one person I thought I could count on thinks I could cheat on her, I need to do a lot more thinking.