wattpad, they're not planning real murders. wattpad, don't delete my account. wattpad, they're not planning real murders. wattpad, don't delete my account. wattpad, they're not planning real murders. wattpad, don't delete my account.
17, 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐬
azzpen
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💜 💬 ✈️ 47,486 likes azzpen days later and i still can't get over it
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I've taken it upon myself to leave the Minecraft Championship life. Sometimes that's what you've got to do, and instead do random things on a recently famed SMP.
"You keep building everywhere," Tommy comments all of a sudden, joining my VC. He's standing in the middle of my new castle.
"Well-spotted, TommyInnit."
"Azz-pen, why are you building everywhere?"
"I'm retiring and becoming a builder. This is my practice before I send in an application to Hermitcraft."
"But you can't decorate L'Manberg and Dream's nation. There's no such thing as dual citizenship."
I scrunch my face up at the screen, gaping at chat. "That's racist."
"I am not a racist, Azz-pen," he laughs nervously. Quietly, he hisses, "Take that back right now or Twitch will ban me."
"You are not a racist," I say loudly, "but you will be if you kick me out. Tommy, I was born in Dream's nation but I immigrated. Are you asking me to forget my heritage?"
"Yes."
"TommyInnit."
"I don't make the rules. You have to pick a side."
"But I'm indecisive," I whine.
All of a sudden everyone on the SMP is in my castle, the L'Manbergians on one side of the carpet and Dream's bunch on the other. They're at some kind of stalemate, trying to figure out where I belong as it's a bit too iffy for me to be building monuments everywhere on both turfs.
"She was on our side in the war," Wilbur states.
"No, she was just within your literal borders. She didn't even fight in the war. Therefore, she's still one of us," Dream argues.
"But she was dealing drugs," Tommy blurts.
I gasp. "Tommy! An act of betrayal!"
"Sorry, Azz-pen. It's the truth."
"She was only working with drugs because you manipulated her into it," George says. "Otherwise, she's a pretty little builder princess."
I clutch my heart dramatically. "Gogy..."
"Manipulate?" Wilbur mutters. "I'm offended. I didn't think you'd speak to me with such a tone in a civil conversation."
"I've seen the VOD. It's literally what you guys did."
Wilbur coughs. "Let's go back to the original laws. Immigrants don't count. We've already established this."
"Okay, well, what if she marries one of us?" Sapnap laughs.
I laugh too.
Nobody else does.
Because they're actually considering it.
"You know what, Sapnap," Wilbur starts, and I can hear his stupid smile. "That's the smartest thing I've heard you say all day."
"Thank you."
I'm disgusted. "Will--"
"I think that's fair," Clay says, completely ignoring me. "I'll marry her. Then we'll grant her dual citizenship. Because there's no way I'm tearing down any of the castles that she built."
"What?"
"Will, this is stupid!" Tommy shouts, shaking his Minecraft box head viciously at Wilbur.
"Alright, marry her," Wilbur agrees. I know he's doing that stupid narrowed-eyed, pen-to-mouth thing where he studies the screen like he knows something nobody else does. Cocky bastard.
Tommy shouts again, "Nevermind, this is so smart!"
Everyone laughs.
"What kind of shitty ass proposal was that? At least give me some netherite."
"That's a good point actually. What should qualify a marriage on this SMP?"
"How about a disc?"
"Yes. But it has to be one of the original ones, the ones from the war."
"Those are some of the most valuable things..."
"Oh, fucking hell," I mutter. "Do not give me a disc. I don't want to be caught in the middle of another war."
"We're fighting for your dual citizenship. This whole thing is about you being caught in the middle."
"Az, I'm giving you a disc."
"I didn't agree to this."
"Fine, then they can tear down all of your houses and cattle in L'Manberg."
"Not my cattle..." I gasp. "What about Billy the Sheep?"
Dream takes a disc out of his ender chest. He flings it over to me and I quickly get it, knowing I'll never hear the end of it if someone else does.
"Aw, that was a cute little ceremony," Sapnap coos.
"THE DISC IS IN HER INVENTORY. GET HER," Tommy shouts.
"YEAH," Tubbo goes.
"AZ, RUN!"
I sigh and start running away from the bloodshed. "Fucking hell."
