when we all fall asleep, where do we go?

i love you

TW: Underage Drinking, Angst, Drug Use, Drug Abuse, Swearing, Violence, Drug Misuse, and Mention of Death.

Pairings: Pietro Maximoff x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes x Sister!Reader, Pietro Maximoff x OC!Sierra Johnson,

Summary: Y/N Barnes and Pietro Maximoff, the power duo of the school, arrive at senior year of high school with their friend group, The Avengers. Things are going great for Y/N and Pietro's friendship until life started to go downhill after the party. Will her feelings be returned or rejected?

   Y/N wiggles her way through the crowd full of sweaty, stinky high school students. Tonight is the night where the senior class parties until the sun rises. Most people use this time to hook up with another person or just drink until their livers stop working, but that's not Y/N.

   She stumbles around the party trying to find her best friend, Pietro Maximoff. She asked a couple of people where he is but she couldn't get any answers. She looks around the hallway and spots a locked door.

     'Maybe he's in here,' she thought. She pushes the door open and sees him making out with her, Sierra Johnson.

It's not true

   Her heart shatters at the view, she closes the door quietly not trying to interrupt them. She tries to find her twin brother, Bucky Barnes, but knowing him he's probably with Steve. Y/N runs out of the party as tears start forming on her waterline. Y/N thought it was reasonable to send a text to her brother so he wouldn't go into panic mode later.

Y/N: I went home early. See you at home.

     'Why did he do that. He knows that I don't like her for a reason,' Y/N kept thinking until a phone notification pulled away from the thought. She looked at her phone hoping it was Pietro that texted her.

Buckaroo: Be safe

   But it wasn't. She eventually reaches home feeling tired and wanting this night to end. Pietro was her crush for years and Y/N never found the courage to tell him. The closest thing she ever did to tell him was just giving him small hints. Y/N walked upstairs to her room and got changed in her pajamas. She scrolled through her feed to see all of the posts from tonight. She stopped on Bucky's picture of him and Steve kissing with the caption, "I'm with you 'til the end of the line". She liked the picture and left some heartfelt words in the comment section. Y/N continued to scroll and like pictures until she stopped at a specific post, Pietro's. Tears start to fall on the picture of Pietro and Sierra that displayed on her phone screen. Y/N liked the picture to be kind and to show that she didn't care. She walked over to a box full of pictures from her bed and started looking at all of them. She started to laugh at all the funny pictures she took of her brother and friends. Then she looked at the stack of photos that she knew were all of Pietro and her. She starts going through them, knowing each and the exact moment when she took those pictures.

     'I love Pietro Maximoff,' Y/N realized.

"I love you"

   Not love as a friend way, love as she would give her heart to him anytime. Her eyes widen at the realization that she will never get a chance to explain that to him. Her small crush had grown to a bigger problem with only a few people knowing, Bucky, Steve, and Natasha. Y/N puts her phone on her nightstand next to her bed ignoring any messages that were sent to her. She tries to close her eyes and fall asleep but her mind is not letting her.

Up all night

   Y/N heard keys jingle and the front door open. She knew that Bucky and Steve were home so she went downstairs to greet them. They both knew why Y/N went home but they didn't say anything until she started to break down right in front of them. They both hugged Y/N while reassuring her that it was going to be okay. After Y/N calmed down, Bucky and Steve went upstairs to go to sleep.

     "I don't wanna hear any funny business, alright!" Y/N screamed. She knew that Steve was beet red and Bucky was rolling his eyes at her. When she finished raiding the fridge, she headed upstairs while holding a tub of ice cream. She sets the tub down and grabs her phone off of her nightstand. She checked social media and messages for any kind of update. She checked people's stories from the party as she starts to eat her ice cream that was almost melted. As she was checking the stories, she stops on a certain story, Sierra's. She sees that Pietro and Sierra are still hanging out together. Y/N turns off her phone and starts watching 'Grey's Anatomy'. She starts to tear up because her mind keeps replaying the moment from the party. Y/N curls up in a ball on her bed trying to forget everything.

Didn't mean to make you cry

     'Why would he do this. Why her and not someone else,' she asked herself as she still curled up into a ball. She continues to ask herself these types of questions as her tv played over her cries. Y/N hears her phone vibrate on the nightstand. She grabs her phone and sees that Nat had texted her sympathy. Y/N sends her a quick text telling her it was ok. Y/N started reminiscing about all the nights where Pietro and her had late night walks or drives and just talk about anything that came to mind. She remembers when he would kiss her forehead whenever she was feeling sad.

"I love you"

   She sobs quietly trying not to wake up Bucky and Steve. Y/N loved Pietro for a while and she was hurt because he gave his love to someone else. She wanted to tell him how she felt so bad but it's too late now. His smile, eyes, and his laugh could make Y/N happy every day, now she can't even look at him without bawling her eyes out. At this point, Y/N felt like she was drowning in her puddle of tears. She doesn't know how she will survive the last year of high school without her other half. She fished through her nightstand drawer to find her forbidden lighter.

      'No,' she thought as she puts it on top of the nightstand.

     'I can't do this again,' she reasoned. But she did anyway. She pulled out a Ziploc bag full of devil's lettuce and rolling paper.

     'Am I going to do this again,' she vacillated as she rolled it into a blunt. Y/N opened up her window and put a towel underneath her door so Bucky wouldn't know what she is doing. She sat by the window and started smoking as the sound of cars and her tv in the background. A tear starts to slowly run down her cheek and onto the sweatshirt she was wearing. She looks down and realizes it's Pietro's sweatshirt. More tears started to run down her cheeks as she kept smoking. Smoking took all her problems away but she abused it too much. Pietro was the one that made her stop and helped her get better. This is one of the reasons why she loved Pietro and she couldn't ignore it.

I can't escape the way I love you

I don't want to, but I love you.

   Y/N sighs as she realized what drama this whole situation is going to cause. She started to go back and forth with herself as her blunt began to get smaller and smaller. She discarded the thin blunt in her garbage and put away the supplies. Y/N laid on her bed with her big blanket that kept her warm. Her eyes started to slowly close and then she finally fell into a deep sleep forgetting that she had left her lighter on the table.

   Bucky woke up the next morning with Steve's arm wrapped around him. He pushed Steve's arms off of him to get out of the bed and he walked towards his little sister's room to check on her. He opened the door to see her asleep curled up into a ball with tear-stained cheeks. He looked around the room and noticed that the window was opened and there was a towel near the door. He didn't believe that Y/N would start again until he saw the infamous lighter on the nightstand. His heart sunk when he realized that what you did.