Winning her back

17. Playing with fire

Lisa

"How are we feeling today, Lisa?"

"We?"

"That's correct, we", Dr Rowland began sipping on her usual herbal tea. "How are you feeling with my approach towards these sessions?", she continued.

I sat upright and put a few hair strands behind my ear. Body language was something Dr Rowland took very seriously. If I was ever going to get her to declare that I was mentally healthy and stable to live by myself, then I needed to do this correctly.

"Well", I began. "I'm definitely in a much better place than I was before. I've left the house a few times, it's actually therapeutic you know, getting out and roaming about."

She raised and eyebrow and signaled for me to continue.

"I've started wearing clothes which revealed a little bit more skin, nothing too major, pretty much what I used to wear before ... before the incident. Just as you advised".

I shifted my position to a more comfortable one. "I've been on a date too. It felt so ... natural. We got intimate with each other, and I felt completely at ease, almost as if nothing had ever happened."

I paused and chose my next words correctly, I didn't want to seem too positive. "I wouldn't have gotten this far if it wasn't for these sessions".

She rested her back on the chair and glanced in my direction.

"I'm surprised to hear you say that", she began. "A very different response from that of our last session".

I nodded in agreement, whilst trying to keep a smile plastered on my face.

"What about your living situation with Ben, how has that been?"

I crossed my arms and tried my best to keep the energy in the room positive.

"With all due respect Dr Rowland, he's my ex husband. An ex for a reason which I'm sure you're aware of. As you can probably imagine, we don't get along. Being in that house makes me relive everything all over again. It's not healthy for us to be living under the same roof."

"So is that why you went behind my back and asked Dr Clark Reed to re-employ you?".

My eyes widened like a deer caught in headlights. Of course Clark must have informed her after our previous conversation.

"I was meaning to talk to you about that", I said.

"I'm sure you were. In any case, I think it's a good idea to return back to work".

"You do?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact I think it would do you well. You're a doctor Lisa, I can imagine how hard it can be not practicing your profession, something which you've worked very hard to achieve".

She fixed her glasses and started typing up a report.

"I'll inform Dr Reed myself. However, for the time being, your living arrangement must remain unchanged."

I furrowed my eyebrows and rolled my eyes. "Why's that?"

"Well Lisa, your case is now being considered to be an attempted homicide. It's not safe for you to live by yourself, and even though you and Ben have your differences, I'm certain he has your best interest at heart."

"Bu-

"That's my final answer on the matter", she said cutting me off.

Clearly, I was not very good at portraying or reading body language.

____________________________________
I found Ben waiting for me in the car at the usual spot. Only this time, he was colder than usual. He would always ask how my session went, but this time, he could barely even look at me.

There was no doubt that his attitude had to do with last night's antics. After catching me and Clark in the  car together, his mood changed entirely. Besides ignoring me on the porch that night, the deathly looks which he gave Clark were similar to the one's my dad would give to him.

"So", I started. "You're giving me the silent treatment". It was more of a statement rather than a question.

Silence.

"I'll take that as a yes. You know, we could be adults about this. After all, we are living together and your approach is childish".

"Childish!", he screeched. "You want to know what's childish? Having sex in a car with your boss in front of our house!"

"We weren't having sex, and even if we were, it wouldn't be your concern", I fired back.

"Is that what you wanted me to see? Some other guy fondling you? Are you happy now?"

"You weren't meant to see that. Wrong place, wrong time I guess", I lied.

"Jesus christ, the guy could probably be your father's age, not to mention he's your boss!"

"Well that's none of your concern now is it". At this point, I was irritated. Irritated at him and his opinions. "Besides, you don't really have a leg to stand on. Have you forgotten all the girls you've f*cked while we were married?",I said in disgust.

"It was one girl", he replied, tightening his grip on the steering weel. "I'll spend the rest of my life paying for that mistake".

I shook my head and stared at the window, indicating that I didn't want to continue the conversation. It was pretty busy outside for a Saturday morning. Everyone seemed to be skimming through life, whilst I was stuck on the same page.
I tried to remember the last time I was content and untroubled, with only a few memories to choose from.

"I can't keep sneaking out like this, dad's keeping tabs on me 24/7". We were at Ben's house watching a movie. It took ages to creep out of my house, with my dad sealing every entrance door ... and window. Luckily he left Torvi's window untouched, giving me the opportunity to sneak out one last time.

"Why don't you let me speak to him, I'm sure we'd reach an understanding. He can't keep you away from me", Ben said caressing my cheek.

We had finally started dating officially. It didn't take long for the whole school to find out, including my sister Torvi, who didn't take long to pass on the news to my dad. He forbid it of course, making every possible excuse to keep me away from Ben. That didn't stop us, but him locking me inside could.

"Are you crazy? He wouldn't let you get a word in. Unless you turn your entire life around, and become a new born Christian, there's no chance of getting his approval".

He stared at me for a while, almost as if he was deliberating in his mind. Then a smile flashed on his face.

"I may have found a way for us to be together, without your father's permission".

"I'm listening", I said, desperately waiting for an answer.

"Marry me".

If only I knew back then what accepting his proposal would transpire.

____________________________________
Finally! I literally wrote this chapter weeks ago, then decided to rewrite it last minute.

Btw how great does the new book cover look 😍 - thanks to @asxh_