Winning her back

20. Goodbye

Lisa

"You look beautiful sweetheart", my mother said as she adjusted the finishing touches of my veil.

I turned around to face one of the many mirros in the room. I released a breathe I didn't know I was holding. Everything was perfect, the dress, the food, the venue .... I was going to marry the love of my life. My face hid a mixture of emotions. I was nervous, excited, happy .. and scared.

Me and Ben would finally be together without any hiccups. Our plan was to move to the city and away from this town which was built on teachings which my dad had filtrated.

In just two hours, I would finally be free ...

The thought itself made my lips curl up into a smile, one which didn't reach my mother's eyes.

"Please don't ruin this for me", I pleaded as I turned to face her.

My parents weren't thrilled with the idea of me marrying Ben, but there was nothing they could do about it. I was of legal age, and so was Ben. As long as we eloped in the "presence of God", as my father had said, he would give us his blessing. Not that we needed it, but to avoid future conflict, we decided to have a Christian wedding.

"I just", she began whilst fiddling with her fingers, "you've only just turned eighteen. Is this the life you really want?"

"Of course it is", I scoffed. "I was never going to stay in this sh*tty town forever anyway".

"What about Ben? How well do you really know him? He doesn't have the cleanest reputation".

I furrowed my eyebrows in frustration. "What exactly is a clean reputation? Please enlighten me mother?". I said as I roughly removed the veil from my face. I was furious at this point; mostly for her bringing this up now from all times.

"Does he need to be a 'warrior of God' and attend mass everyday?", I said sarcastically, "or better yet, does he have to bake cookies for the orphans on Tuesdays ?".

"That's enough Lisa, you've made your point", she began. "I only meant that he shows you honesty and respect. Love isn't everything Lisa".

She was right. Love wasn't everything.

I had been staring at the ceiling for the past three hours listening carefully to the drops of the rain outside. Ben lied next to me, unaware of anything. Unlike me, he had been able to drift into a heavy sleep without a care in the world. Maybe it was the alcohol he consumed, or maybe he just didn't feel the guilt, it didn't matter.

Nothing mattered anymore.

For three hours, I'd been trying to figure out what was to come of our actions, of my actions. I was a mess ... and my life was a mess. In a short amount of time, my life turned upside down once again. I had someone potentially trying to murder me, and a failed marriage to deal with. There was no doubt that I had let Ben in, I wasn't sure if he managed to reach my heart or my head. I was hoping it was the latter for my own sanity.

Multiple scenarios passed through my head on how I should handle the situation, but all of them lead to one outcome ... heartbreak, and it was better to get it over with now rather than later.

I had to leave ... I had to get out of here, now. The only way I could ever heal was to get away from the injury.

I slowly tip toed around the bed, grabing my garments which where all over the place as a reminder of our night.