Bender's little sister

You think you're so big and bad?

(Carson POV)

We make it back and I am sat on the chair with my feet propped up on the table. Suddenly Vernon enters with Johnny. "Get your stuff, let's go!" Vernon yells. "Mr. Wiseguy here has taken it upon himself to go to the gymnasium. I'm sorry to inform you, you're going to be without his services for the rest of the day." Vernon says. "B-O-O-H-O-O." John says and I snicker. "Everything's a big joke, huh Bender? The false alarm you pulled, Friday, false alarms are really funny, aren't they...What if your home, what if your family...what if your dope was on fire?" Vernon asks. "Impossible, sir...It's in Johnson's underwear..." John says and I laugh and so does Andrew but Vernon only pays attention to Andrew. "You think he's funny? You think this is cute? You think he's bitchin', is that it? Lemme tell you something. Look at him, he's a bum." Vernon says and I stand up. "Leave Johnny alone!" I shout and everyone turns to me. "You may think he is a bum but he is my older brother. You think you're so big and bad huh? But guess what you don't scare me at all, you are just one big fat BITCH!" I yell and everyone turns to me shocked. I even covered my mouth in shock of myself. 

"Let's go..." Vernon says grabbing John's shoulder. "Hey keep your fuckin' hands off me! I expect better manners from you, Dick! Plus I think your foul language has seeped into my little sister's mind." He says and I shake my head. John takes off his glasses and gives them to Andrew. "For better hallway vision." He says and we walks out but not before knocking things over. As soon as he leaves I walk over to Andrew's table and I grab John's sunglasses and I place them on my face. "Where did you learn that type of language?" Claire asks. "My house." I say with a sigh. "He woke up the inner beast." I say and everyone chuckles. "Oh shit!" We all hear and I see John walk over. "I forgot my pencil..." John says but then he ducks under Claire, and Andrew's table. "God dammit! What in God's name is going on in here?" He yells and he walks in and sees all of us...Except John. "What was that ruckus?" He asks. "Uh, what ruckus?" Andrew asks. "I was just in my office and I heard a ruckus!" Vernon asks and I snort. "Could you describe the ruckus, sir?" Brian asks. "Watch your tongue young man, watch it!" Vernon says and I shake my head. 

I hear a bump from underneath Claire's table and I start banging on the table with my fists. "What is that? What, what is that, what is that noise?" Vernon asks and I smirk. "What noise?" I ask innocently. "Really, sir, there wasn't any noise..." She stops as she squeals then fakes a coughing fit. "That noise? Was that the noise you were talking about?" Claire asks and I snicker. "No, it wasn't. That was not the noise I was talking about. Now, I may not have caught you in the act this time, but you can bet I will." I hear Allison laughing and I giggle. "You make book on that Missy!" He says to her and he turns to me. "And you! I will not be made a fool of!" He says to me and he turns and walks away but he has the toilet seat cover stuck in his pants and we all snicker. John soon comes out from under the table and Claire slaps him multiple times, not on the face though. "It was an accident!" John shouts. "You're an asshole!" Claire says. "So sue me." John says and he goes over to Brian. "So, Ahab...Kybo Mein Doobage..." John says and Brian hands over the bag. I sit there and John lifts me over his shoulder. "Whoa." I say and I wave at everyone and they chuckle. "Yo waist-oid...you're not gonna blaze up in here!" Andrew shouts but it goes ignored by John.

I am dropped onto the couch and I pull out my unopened bag of bubblegum cigars. I open it and I pull one out and I bite it. I start chewing the gum and I see Brian and Claire come and sit with us. Soon we are all sitting in a circle, I am leaning into John's side. Claire holds out her well I'm guessing a cigarette to John and he lights it up from striking the match on his teeth. "Wicked." I say and John smiles at me. Claire inhales but she starts coughing and we start laughing. "Chicks, cannot hold der smoke! That's what it is!" Brian says in a weird accent all at the same time wearing my brother's sunglasses. "Do you know how popular I am? I'm so popular, everybody loves me so much, at this school..." Claire says. "Poor baby." John says and I snicker. Brian puts his hand up and John gives him a high five and he falls over and I laugh. 

Soon we see Andrew come out of a extremely smoky room. He starts dancing while doing flips and all sorts of tricks. "Woo!" We all cheer him on and he goes back into the smoky room and screams, which causes the glass to shatter.  After a while I fall asleep on the couch but then when I wake up I am on John's lap and we are all sat in a circle. They are all laughing and I look up. "Hey Johnny." I say and he smiles. "Hey Race Car." He says and I grin. "What would I do for a million bucks? Well, I guess I'd do as little as I had to..." Andrew says. "That's boring." Claire says and I smile. "Well, how'm I s'posed to answer?" Andrew asks. "The idea is to like search your mind for the absolute limit. Like, uh, would you drive to school naked?" Claire asks and Andrew laughs. "Um, uh...would I have to get out of the car?" Andrew asks. "Of course." Claire says. "In the spring, or winter?" Andrew asks. "It doesn't matter...spring..." Claire decides and I giggle. "In front of the school or in back of the school?" Andrew asks. "Either one..." Claire says. "Yes..." Andrew says and we all chuckle. "I'd do that." Allison says and we all turn to her.