Violence In A Quiet Mind

Chapter 2.

"Get ready for the funeral." Mum stands beside my door. It's been a week since Jenny died and I had shut the world out. I refused to eat, refused to share whatever what was bothering me with her and I refused to go to school. It's all my fault.
Whisper words left unsaid. I curl up on my bed wearing a black long sleeve dress thinking who dies out of a common headache. Why did she have to die? I never gave her the chance to speak but she wrote those words which I soaked with tears containing all my apologies. My body moves a little as I shiver over the fact that my best friend is no more here with me.

The news had spread in school, students, people passed by my house and Jenny's to give their sympathy and condolences respectively. I was tired of the pitines in the population's eyes but I still couldn't say anything. I haven't talked since death threw an awesome blow to my jaw and ripped off my voice box. Mum tried her best to get me to talk but all I could do was nod or shake my head when I needed something.

The funeral was a small private one held at the cemetery with family members I knew from Jenny's side. They hugged me went I came to the cemetery and mumble 'sorry'. I wanted to scream at them to stop with the sorry if only it could bring my best friend, a sister back to me. Family members gave a brief eulogy, her mum couldn't finish her eulogy then she started crying.
A mother's child.

It was my turn, words got stuck in my throat, I couldn't open my mouth, my lips felt dry, I shake my head and I sniff feeling tears well up in my eyes. I should have hold on but with all that you gave, with all that he stole, you'd never be safe, so you thought you'd let go.

I watch as the priest concludes the final rites as the wooden box is lowered six feet deep with crys accompanied by her mum and few sniffing from me and other members trying to hold our tears. The funeral is over, members disperse and I stand in front of a new grave with Jenny Ortega imprinted on the grave stone with her lifetime written and a few words added. I blink away my tears but it is difficult, my throat feels like it's been held with huge hands and then I burst out.

I cry.

I cry over the fact that I have lost someone dear to me, someone who gets me, we laugh together, cry together, spend half of our lives moving in and out of ones room through a window. Planning our lives together. It ends here. Everything is gone with her just because I couldn't hold on.

"Who the fuck dies out of headache." I scream mix with tears and my mum comes to hug me. I cry out.

"Let it all out honey." She soothes me but I don't hear anything. I still cry.

I don't know how I am on my parents bed but I begin to shiver over the night air which blows over me. I have no tears left to cry. I sit up, bring my legs over to my head and rest my head on it, thinking about what went on. Mum comes into the room with a sad smile.

"Inna are you okay? That was some first words to say when you haven't talked in a week." She chuckles lightly. I stare at her. "Eat this or I can feed you." I shake my head and grab the bowl of chicken soup. My first taste of it and it felt like I just took in a bitter medicine. I scrunch my face but mum nods for me to continue eating. She waits for me to finish then she leaves her room.

"It's late, get some rest." Mum comes back after some few minutes as I am in the position she saw me earlier before bringing me a bowl of soup. I nod and take off my shoes. She moves her body to the bed and I curl up, she comes closer and hugs me.

"I wish you'll never be reckless till the end of time because Jenny who is up there wouldn't be happy." She croaks out kissing the crown of my head as sleep takes me away with violence in a quiet mind of mine of losing someone.