break free from the voices in my head

all i wanna do is, and take your money // 3racha x lix

a new wave of tears rolled down felix's face and he cried into his instant noodle bowl. i knew i couldn't eat spicy food, why the fuck am i doing this to myself? regretful thoughts were pouring into his head, but the tingles on his tongue were an easy distraction from it.

the australian was hungry and basically no one was in the dorm. he couldn't bother to cook and the bag of instant noodles looked like they were practically begging to be eaten, so of course he took the challenge.

felix did everything he was supposed to; cook the noodles, drain them, and add in the packets.

everything was going well until he took the first bite. the effects were immediate and his eyes welled up straight away.

the noodles were good, but so overpowered by the spiciness that felix couldn't focus on anything but.

felix swallowed his first bite, chewing a solid four times. the spice didn't go away after that, no— it clung onto his tongue and left a weird bitter aftertaste that tasted suspiciously like mr. sketch scented markers. felix would know, he ate a lot of those back in his day.

his whole face was engulfed in flames and he panted, trying to get rid of the fire ants dancing on his tongue, however to no prevail.

but felix was taught in situations like these, to just power through it. and being the idiot he is, he did.

bite after bite without stopping, felix consumed the instant noodles like it was the only time he hadn't eaten in twenty days. he wouldn't let his tongue get the chance to burn up on him.

fortunately, this method worked. unfortunately, the effects were now a hundred times heavier and felix wanted to roll up and cry.

his tongue lolled out of his mouth like a dog on a hot summer day, and the stream of tears continued. his nose was so runny it could've single handedly put out the fire that had spread through their kitchen when a couple members tried to cook last week.

felix looked like a mess honestly, but at least no one was home to see him in this state. so he stood up and quickly made an effort to go help his situation.

the freckled boy found that no matter how much he wiped his tears or how much he blew his nose, the consequences would not go away.

felix knew that he should be drinking milk, but he was an avid milk anti, and only banana milk would suffice— though they didn't have any in the dorm right now.

after felix deemed everything useless, he hobbled over to the bathroom in hopes that he could piss out the spiciness. it did not work.

he did his business as usual and flushed, going to wash his hands next. mid scrub, he heard the sound of the door open as some members flooded into their dorm.

shit, he thought to himself. when the boy looked up into the mirror, he winced at his own appearance— messy hair, a red nose and cheeks, puffy and bright red lips, tears cascading down his face. he looked worse than when he watched banana fish for the first time, and that was bad bad.

felix sighed as he stepped out of the washroom, and went to go put the bowls away. felix picked up the bowl, and licked the spoon out of habit. felix froze and flashbacks of the last twenty minutes ran through his head.

'fuck me, why am i actually so dumb.' played through his head over and over like a broken stereo.

the heat coated his tongue once again and the tears that were beginning to stop, started all over again.

this just so happened to be when the members that came home wandered into the kitchen, probably looking for snacks.

felix heard the footsteps reach the door, though his mind couldn't really focus on them. he looked up, and three of his bandmates looked back at him. there was an awkward silence of just dead eye contact.