Coming Back Home

Prologue

Plot twist. Two words that came to mind after Dr. Lee came to the end of her long winding spiel explaining the results of my PET Scan.

Whatever happened to rising from the ashes like a phoenix Yejin? She asked herself.

Have own career. Check.

Get that promotion. Check.

Buy my own house. Check.

Be supermom. Check.

Hodgkin's Disease. Two more words. Uncheck.

Slowly, she takes a sip of her latte, throat suddenly dry. Her face blank but a million other thoughts are running through her mind. Her children's faces - Mi Cha as she prepared my coffee this morning and Joon, her sweet boy as he plays a song he heard from a war movie, the Ahjussi she buys her flowers from every friday, her cluttered desk in the faculty office, the puppy she planned on adopting next month, the book she started to write.

And Bin....

"Yejin? Are you okay?" She hears Dr. Lee faintly and is suddenly jolted out from the vortex of her thoughts. Yejin tries hard to follow the doctor's advise on timelines and treatments, benefits and risks. At this point, she realizes that she is in no condition to really absorb what the doctor was saying. Yejin hurriedly receives the packet handed to her, telling herself to look it over when everything is settled. She nods, says her goodbyes, stands up and walks down the hall. Knees weak and surprised that her legs are still holding her up. She mindlessly gets to the car and fumbles with her keys before almost collapsing in the seat. She feels the tears fall down her cheeks and willed them to stop. Instead, she sobs uncontrollably, hating this feeling of helplessness she finds herself in.

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!

Yejin sees his name flashing on the phone, she composes herself for a couple of breaths and answers the phone. "Yoboseyo? "

"Jin? You are getting me worried. Where are you? Joon called and he said that you are supposed to pick him up today. This is not like you to forget."

"Huh? Aigoo! I'm..... sorry Bin, I will go and pick him up from his piano tutor now"

"It's alright Jinnie" His gentle voice doing things to her. "I'm with Joon right now and just want to make sure that you are not in trouble. Can I bring him to my place for a moment?"

"Yes that will be fine Bin. I'm actually just 10 minutes away from your flat and I can meet you guys there. Mi Cha should be fine at her friend's house so I'll just give her a call. I'm really so sorry. I know it's not your time to run around for them now."

"Jinnie, enough of that! I am their father too and we are together in this. Now, what do you want for dinner? Pizza?"

Bin drones on about dinner after. She realizes that she is calmer after hearing his voice. Her breath paces slower and my heart is no longer racing.

Three years after our divorce, Bin is still her balm.