Diary of a Misfit (1)

chapter 15

No longer keeping track of the entry#

No longer keeping track of the date

Dear Diary,

Slipped out of each other's hands and no longer connected. It's been three weeks since Chresanto has been missing. I've searched everywhere I think he'd be. Even the gazebo where we spent the day. I looked at the flower perfume I made from then. Almost empty. Just like my soul. Wherever the other half of myself is. Moments like these when you wish you had a tracker in your brain that can find people and things by thinking about them. My heart aches at the absence of the young boy whom I called my lover. The word had fully got around that he and I were a thing. He was the talk of the town then. And still is. Some respected the idea that I was his and some didn't. I would get bullied from that point to the time where they found out he's been gone. Then it all turned to sympathy when they took notice to him not even being around. It's something about the absence of his laugh and the aroma of his cologne dancing through the hallway and meeting its way to my nose. It always sent a wonderful chill down my spine. Now he's not anywhere to be seen. Some boys came out their closets and tried to talk to me here and there, but I'd turn them down due to the fact that I believe Chresanto and I would soon be together again.

I stopped attending school, I've stopped eating, and you can say I'm currently facing depression. There's no contact with the outside world, not even my family. Tony slips inside my room to cheer me up and I put on a makeup smile to show him I appreciate him and his effort to bring me out of darkness. But it's like a clown: a painted on smile. That's really what makeup is. It's a substance that covers up the unappealing and gives a pleasant appearance to those who lay their eyes on it. I really miss Chresanto. This is probably one of the longest outpour of my gumbo of feelings. There's more to say, but that's for another time.

Sincerely,

Jacob the Misfit

Mama Perez: we're going to the park in an hour Mijo

Jacob: okay have fun

Mama Perez: no no no you're coming with us

Jacob: but I don't wanna go

Mama Perez: does this look like a face that cares? *Think of Squidward's face hehehe*

Jacob:but ma

Mama Perez: aye. Get in that bathroom and shower. You smell like the vacas and caballos at your tio Esteban's farm

Mama Perez picked out some clothes for Jacob to wear to the park and laid them out. She sat in a chair and waited for him to come out. He soon got dressed and went on. They soon made it and Tony couldn't wait to get out, he practically banged on the door until Mama Perez took the safety lock off his door. He hopped about until they all got out.

Mama Perez:okay Tony boy. We're over here by the tree. Sittings at this bench.

Tony: okay mama

Mama Perez: having fun Jacob?

Jacob: really? You serious?

Mama Perez: what I'm just asking

Jacob: well no

Mama Perez: you know... studies show that being outside in the sun can fight depression. Along with sharing a hug

Jacob: if only that applied to me

Mama Perez: Mijo you gotta understand what I'm doing here. You don't need to be stuck in that house

Jacob just stayed silent for a minute and finally spoke.