Chapter 4

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"Please don't do this" I cried out. "Shut up!" One of the guy said as he put even more pressure on my chest. "It's fine honey" my dad tried to rassure me. "This is all because of you" the tallest one of them told me as he pointed the gun to my father. I immediately shut my eyes closed. "No. You don't get to close your eyes. You're going to watch. You brought this upon yourself. You couldn't keep your mouth shut and you got my dad fired. My mother ran away and brought my little brother with her. They both died in a car accident and my dad took his own life. All because of you. You could've just kept this a secret like I begged you to do. But you didn't. Not because you couldn't, but because you couldn't care less. You did this" he said as the other guy forced me to look. I tried to fight back, but they were stronger. One of them was holding me on the ground with his foot on my chest while another held my head to make sure I was watching. "Don't do this" I said. "You did this. I didn't" he replied. "It's not your fault. I love you. Stay stron-" that's when the shot got fired. "If you talk, I'll make sure everyone you ever cared about dies too" he told me before they took off.

"Dad!" I said as I hurried to get to him. "It's okay. I love you" he coughed out blood. "Help!" I shouted as loud as I could. People started heard my calls and came rushing. "Someone call 911" I yelled as I kept my hand on his wound to keep him from bleeding out. "Don't let this bring you down. It's not your fault" he said. "I love you" he hardly said before his eyes closed. "No. No! Dad, stay with me. You can't leave. I need you. Mum needs you. Don't die" I sobbed as he let out his last breath. I stayed with him until the ambulance arrived. "Lady, you have to let us take him" the paramedic told me. "You can't take him" I said as I held him tighter. "We have to. I'm sorry" he said as the others came closer. "No!" I screamed as my eyes glew with tears streaming down my cheeks. "No!" I shouted as one of them pulled me back while they took his body. "Dad! No!" I yelled.

"No!" I screamed. "Stop!" Someone said. "Wake up, Daan" I heard as I kept trying to fight. I could still feel the unbearable pressure on my chest. I could still feel the hands around my head forcing me to look at my dad. I could still feel the paramedics holding me back as they put my father's dead body in the back of the ambulance. "Wake up!"

I opened my eyes. I was out of breath and sweating like I just ran a marathon. I could still feel a pressure on my body. I looked down to see Beth pinning me down with her own body. "I'm sorry. You wouldn't stop moving" she said as she got off and sat beside me on the ground.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked me. I shook my head. "Do you want me to say something?" She asked. I shook my head. "Do you want to sleep?" She asked me. I nodded. "Do you want me to go?" She asked. I shook my head. "Then let's get you back in bed" she said as she got up. "Oh wow. You really did something there" she murmured as she observed my bed. The sheets were all gone. They all fell down on the floor and most of them were full of sweat. "Come on" she held out her hand for me. I grabbed it and she gently led me out of the room to get to her bedroom.

I actually haven't been in that room even once since we moved in. We usually keep our personal spaces to ourselves, but I had a feeling that was going to change. I climbed in the bed and let my head fall on the pillow. I was still half asleep so it didn't take long for me to fall back asleep as the pressure on my chest slowly faded.

When I woke up again, Beth had already left. The team had to show up early for a recovery session and a little training, but since I was injured I decided to just go to the Lewin Clinic and then figure out how to spend the day.

I opened the fridge to get some milk, but there wasn't any. In fact, there was nothing left. I decided to just go to the clinic now. It was my first time going there, but it was great. The doctors were good and the exercises actually did give me some instant relief. I stayed much longer than usual appointments do to get some extra work in. After a couple hours, I left to go shopping. I only brought one big suitcase so I definitely needed more clothes.

I met up with Kika and Inessa at the mall. I'm glad to have them here. Knowing that they're only one call away is comforting. Whenever I feel too homesick, I just show up to Viv's or Jill's, eat stroopwafels and speak dutch with them. Jackie joined us later. We shopped for a while, but had to stop because my ankle was hurting too much. "You guys should come to our place. We'll call pizza and watch tv. We can invite Viv and Jill as well. Dutchies girls night" Kika suggested. "I'm in" I said. "Don't think I'm going to miss that" Jackie replied. And then it was on[...]

"Oh shut up" I told Jill as I opened myself another beer. "It's true!" She argued. "I think it wouldn't hurt to try" Jackie shrugged. "I do not need to get laid!" I said. "You really do" Kika laughed. "You could try with your roomie" Viv suggested. "Oh yeah!" Jill exclaimed. "You have a roomie?" Inessa gasped. "You never want to share a room with anyone, let alone an apartment" Kika stated. "You should totally sleep with her. She's nice" Jill said. "I can't" I shook my head. "What do you mean you can't? Everyone would throw themselves at your feet if you wanted" Viv replied. "I can't even if I wanted to. She's an omega" I told them. "Well that's just perfect. She's literally made to please you" Jill said. "That's exactly the problem. It wouldn't be fair to make a move on her because she'd be forced to do it and that's not how I want it to happen" I told them.

"I understand" Viv nodded. "You still just admitted you want it to happen" Kika teased me. "That is not what I said" I rolled my eyes. "I reckon you said that it's not how you 'want it to happen'" Inessa said. "You guys suck" I chuckled. "You love us" Jill smirked. "Of course I do" I said before I smacked her with a pillow. "I have to go guys" I told them as I downed my beer. "Why so soon?" Jackie asked me as she pouted. "I have to go the the grocery store" I replied. "You're really leaving us to go run some errands? What happened to the Daan who used to dance on top of tables in some random bar after 10 shots and a 6 pack to herself?" Inessa stated. "She's gone because she starved due to the lack of food in her fridge" I joked. "Bye guys. See you soon in Spain. Love you!" I shouted before I left.

As much as I like Arsenal, spending time with the national team is always amazing. And as much as I like to have fun, I also really like having food to fill in my stomach. I bought for hundreds dollars worth of food. It filled in my entire car. I might've overdone it a little, probably because of the drinks I had.

I had to go back 6 times to get everything. We shouldn't need anything else for a little while. "Hi" Beth told me as I came back with the last bags. "Hello" I replied as I put them on the counter. "How was your day?" I asked her as I started helping her putting all the stuff in the cabinets. "It was fine. Training wasn't too intense. How about you?" She asked me back. "It was great actually. My ankle is already a lot better. I went shopping and grocey shopping. Other than that I was with friends" I answered. "Nice" she mumbled as we kept working in silence.

When I finished, I glanced at my phone only to see it was already 11pm. I quickly brushed my teeth and got ready to go to bed. "Are you going to be okay?" Beth asked me. "Yeah why?" I frowned. "Well, you know, your bad dreams" she hesitantly said. "It doesn't happen every night. It should be fine" I replied. "Daan, it happened every night since we got here. Every single night I get woken up by your screams" she said. "I'm sorry about that. I think I can handle it" I assured her. "Fine. Good night" she replied as she got in her room. I got in bed and closed my eyes.

"Daan, wake up!" Beth shouted as she shook my shoulders. "I'm sorry!" I yelled before I opened my eyes. "Jesus" Beth sighed as she sat on the side of my bed. "Sorry that I woke you up" I apologized as I sat up. "Actually you didn't. I couldn't sleep because I knew you would eventually have nightmares" she replied. I didn't know what to say. "Do you mind staying?" I asked her. As an answer, she rolled to the other side of the bed and got in it. "Goodnight" I told her. "Goodnight" she murmured. That night, I didn't have any bad dreams. I had a beautiful dream. It was peaceful and quiet. And I think I know what caused it.

Or should I say, who caused it.

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