Let down - Haikyuu x reader oneshots

I'm still here || K. Shirabu

Trigger warning
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Breathe me - Sia
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Your fingers clench around the paper, tears welling down your cheeks and snort coming out of your nose.

As your dear friend Shirabu tries to comfort you by hugging you tightly you soften, falling into his arms.

"Sshhh... sshhhhh... don't worry, it's okay. It'll be okay, relax."

"I'm sorry Kenjirou..."

He looks art you with an apologetic smile. You smile back and dry your tears a bit. Just as you think you're done crying, he too starts to sob. His chest moves up and down hastily. The room gets filled by both of your gulps and sulks, afterall you're roommates.

"It wasn't your fault, Y/n, I promise." He says and tugs on the back of your shirt, making you feel like it's going to rip apart.

"It was my fault!"

"There's nothing we can do about it, just please don't be hurt."

He hides his face in your nape and the coldness of his tears sends a shiver through your body.

"Kenjirou, I love you, I'm so so sorry that I wasn't there..."

Once again he gives you one of his reassuring smiles. The smile that melts your whole world. The smile that causes your legs to weaken. The smile that makes you feel warm, and at peace. The smile that makes you feel like home.

"Kenjirou, please don't go, please don't!"

"I'm sorry Y/n, I have to leave now. I'm sorry for the pain I'm causing you"

He kisses you on your cheek which, in the mess of your tears, causes you to blush. You watch him as he walks up to the door and looks back at you once again, still smiling. And for every step you hear of his steps walking away, your heart shatters a bit more.

"Kenjirou, I'm sorry..."

You look down on your bloody hands and the little scars caused from the paper. Your fingers tremble around it as you once again read it. As you read through it, your tears start to feel numb and almost nonexistent.

Shirabu Kenjirou, I love you. I'm so sorry I didn't help you...

Your gulps starts to fade away as you lay down on your bed with the letter in your hands. The room still smells like him. You go over to his bed and shove your face into his blanket that still has his scent, with the backbone of vanilla.

And as if he's still there, you feel an embrace around you.

"Y/n, I'm still here"

Soon enough you fall asleep, drowned by your own wails and mumbles.

The letter in your hands slowly falls to the ground. The handwritten letter that you found on his bed along with his clothes and a bunch of pictures of you and him. The letter that started with the line 'I'm sorry I'm gone'.

The letter that shows stains from his own tears. The letter that was his last message to you. The letter that confessed all of his feelings for you and all of his wishes. All of his wishes, that you would start a great life with someone you love, and that you wouldn't mourn him.

But who wouldn't?