i'm not the only one - new ver

chapter five

war pov

bever brought me home and i went straight to the park near our house. sometimes when i'm sad, i come to this park just to think.

i sat on a bench and looked around, there weren't too many people here now because it was already night.

i don't understand why he had to cheat on me. if i have a shortcoming, he should just tell me, because i will fix it.

i feel like crying. it hurts.

i don't know if i was lacking or if i just wasn't enough.

i'm crying like a baby. i want to go to my brother, but i know he can't fix this.

i want to say to him, "phii, i'm hurt, i'm fucking hurt."

i bent down while crying, feeling weak.

i was surprised when someone handed me a handkerchief. i didn't know who it was, so i raised my head to see who.

"take it, you can wipe your tears," he said. i was still wondering who he was.

"hey, take it. i'm nice, just looks like a jerk, but i'm nice," he added. i took it.

he sat down next to me.

"i'm force, why are you crying?" he asked.

"i'm war," i said quietly.

"yeah, i know you," he said.

"how?" i asked.

"at the no-name bar, your friend introduced you before you played," he said. i nodded.

"you can tell me why you're crying. they say it's better to tell a stranger your story because they won't judge. you can talk to me, promise no judgment," he said.

i started crying again and shouted.

"fuck this life! why is destiny so mad at me? i always say i'm okay, but i'm not! i'm NOT fucking okay! i'm so fucking hurt when i see my husband kissing another woman. i ask myself, 'am i not enough? did i do something wrong? why did he do that to me? i can't leave him because i love him so much, i love him more than myself. he is my life right now, but i know i'm not the only one in his life!'"

he looked at me and said, "war, listen to me. cheating isn't a mistake; it's a choice. and you are enough for the person who sees your value. you'll never be enough for someone who can't be content with one. i understand why you can't leave your husband, but you need to know you are enough. you need to be strong, for your own good."

"i'm afraid, i'm afraid he'll disappear from my life," i said with a cracked voice.

"yes, you are afraid right now, but when you're hurt too much, you can give up. when you give up, it doesn't mean you're weak, you give up because you're hurting too much. be brave. i hope we can meet again?" he said. i wiped my tears and smiled.

"maybe. thank you so much, force," i said.

"yayyy, i'll message you and when you need someone to talk to, just dm me on twitter. i'll reply immediately. here's my number," he said, giving me his number. i gave mine too.

"thank you, what about your handkerchief?" i asked.

"you can keep it," he said. i nodded.

"i'm going home. thank you again," i said.

"take care," he said.

i smiled.

"you too," i said, and i left.

i was still holding his handkerchief when i got home. of course, yin wasn't there yet. i took a bath first, then dried my hair before going to bed. i was alone again, crying. when i heard an approaching car, i wiped my tears and pretended to sleep.