i'm not the only one - new ver

chaptee twenty one

war's pov

they just left, and until now, yin is still sleeping. but offroad said yin is okay, and he hasn't woken up yet because he is so tired. so he slept for a long time.

i have a plan right now—to tell him that teerak is also his son.

what teerak said earlier made me silent, because even if yin did that to me, i don't want to be angry with him in front of our son. so when i tell teerak and phufah, i will explain why.

phufah and teerak are so smart, so i know they will understand what we say. but i do not want them to be angry with yin.

i can forgive yin, but not now. it is so hard.

i am not mad at him, i am just hurt, and i lost trust in him.

i have another fear—what if he enters our son's life, then suddenly he does what he did to me again? i do not want our son to be hurt.

"pa, why did uncle yin sweep swo long?" teerak asked.

"since earlier, you keep asking that?" phufah said.

"i'm just askwing, onichan," teerak said and pouted.

"stop. let's go out first. will we cook for your uncle yin?" i said, and they smiled and nodded.

teerak got off the bed and ran to my side. i held their hands.

"just be quiet so we don't wake uncle yin." i whispered to them. me and phufah wanted to laugh because teerak was so cute—he put his hand over his mouth and closed his eyes.

"open your eyes. how can you walk if your eyes are closed?" phufah said, and teerak opened his eyes but didn't remove his hand from his mouth.

we walked slowly out, making no noise.

we went downstairs and straight to the kitchen.

"you two just sit there and watch me." i said to them.

"ma, why did uncle yin sweep swo long? is hwe okay?" teerak asked again. i couldn't stop smiling at his cuteness.

"oiii, you're asking again?" phufah said, frustrated, but he couldn't be mad at his brother.

"onichan, i'm jwust worried, you know?" teerak said and pouted again.

"i will repeat what uncle offroad said—uncle yin is okay. he is still sleeping because he is very tired from work. so don't worry, teerak, he will wake up later." phufah said, and teerak nodded.

"so, can i cook now?" i asked. they smiled and nodded.

i started cooking while they watched me. after i finished, i set the table, and phufah helped me.

"just wait here. i will call your uncle yin." i said.

"okie dokie!" teerak said.

i went upstairs and straight to my room, where yin was sleeping.

"yin," i called him.

"yin, wake up." i called again and gently tapped his face.

"yin, wake up. you need to eat and take medicine." i said.

"hmmm." he hummed softly.

"yin! you need to eat and take medicine. and i need to talk to you right now." i said. he slowly opened his eyes.

"what did you say?" he asked.

"i need to talk to you right now about teerak—not about us." i said, and he immediately sat up.

"what about teerak?"

"remember the question you asked me when we first met again?" i said, and he nodded.

"because... teerak is also your son." i said and lowered my head.

"what?"

"teerak is also your son." i repeated. he didn't answer, but i heard soft sobbing. i knew it was him.

so i looked up. he was crying.

"i knew it... when you left the house, you were pregnant with teerak?" he asked, still crying.

"yeah. that day, i found out i was pregnant with teerak. and also that day, i met phufah at the orphanage." i said.

"why didn't you tell me that day?" he asked. i smiled bitterly before answering.

"you don't remember? before that happened, you left me at the night market for proy, right? you promised not to leave me, but you did—you left me crying. and now, you really want me to divorce you. how dare you ask why i didn't tell you that day? what do you want? for your son to grow up feeling abandoned? all i want now, yin, is for you to stay away from me, but i will not take teerak away from you." i said, holding back my tears.

"w-war... i'm sorry." he said, crying.

"stop now, yin. do you understand what i'm saying? stay away from me, but i will not take teerak away from you. brush your teeth now. phufah and teerak are waiting for us in the kitchen. there's a new toothbrush in the cr." i said, and he nodded.

"i will go now. we will be waiting for you in the kitchen." i said, and he nodded again. i smiled and left the room.

⸻

YIN POV

he left the room. my mind was filled with what ifs.

what if i didn't do that to him? would we be happy now?
what if i didn't cheat on him? would i have seen my child grow up? would i have been there to take care of them?
what if i didn't hurt war so much? would it still be so hard for his heart to trust me?

i'm sorry, war. i can't do what you want. i'm sorry. i need you three in my life.

i wiped my tears, got up from the bed, and went to the cr to brush my teeth. after that, i went downstairs and straight to the kitchen.

when i entered the kitchen—

"waaaaah! uncle yin!" teerak shouted, running toward me and hugging my legs. he was so small. i knelt down to match his height.

"why, baby?" i asked.

"i'm swo swo worried two you!" teerak said, pouting.

"yeah, uncle yin, i'm worried too! but he kept asking over and over if you were okay and why you were still sleeping." phufah said. war just stared at me and teerak.

"awww, i'm okay now, baby teerak." i said, and he hugged me. i hugged him back.

i can't wait for them to call me daddy

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