i'm not the only one - new ver

chapter fourteen

leaving the reality, and being lived without you

war's pov

i haven't been out of p'mean's house for a few days now because i'm just waiting for phufah's passport to be fixed, so we can leave, but today is the day we can finally leave this country.

i want to be strong for phufah and my baby.

i can't promise that this is the last time i'll cry. i'm still having trouble adjusting. i don't know why... maybe it's the side effects of pregnancy.

why does it hurt so much to love him?

i'll never forget the pain, he replaced me. why? what's the reason? is it because he's no longer happy with me, so his solution is to change? someone like me who loved him, even though it was only suffering in return?

i still ask myself why? it hurts even more when i'm alone. so phufah often stays with me. then when phufah sleeps, daotok and tawan will come with me.

but this is the right decision i made. remember, war, you will never be hurt again. no one will cheat on you. you won't look stupid.

i'm crying again.

"papa, why are you crying?" phufah said.

"i'm sad," i said, and cried again.

"don't be sad, papa. i'm here always, and i will never leave you," phufah said, hugging me.

"don't leave, na," i said, hugging him tightly.

"i promise," phufah said.

"don't cry. it's bad for you and will be bad for my sibling," phufah said.

"stop now. let's pack for our flight later," i said, and phufah nodded.

we had already packed, and because our flight to japan was at night, i planned to live there. we have a house there, and i also have friends from there.

the couple, daouoffroad, is in japan. they still don't know what happened between yin and me. they met yin a few times, but never mind.

don't think about him, war. he's happy now.

he can never approach us again, and if possible, i hope our lives never cross paths again.

i don't want to see him again.

don't think you can't live without him. live for your children. you need to be strong for them.

what if there was no phufah and my baby in my womb? what would happen to my life?

i said before that when i have a child, i will name my sons phufah and teerak. my second son will be named teerak for sure. i'm lucky to have met phufah.

if i could erase something from my memory, it would be yin, because this has caused me so much suffering. but i don't regret loving him.

it hurts, but i can do this. and i know, i'm just starting to live without him.

i hope they are happy, hahahaha. proy used to be the reason yin and i fought before.

p'mean and p'plan took us to the airport, and tawan and daotok came with them.

i told my friends that when we leave, they can visit us in japan when they're free.

then i saw force and book staring at each other... they've been dating for a long time, ahahahaha.

yin is my reality, so leave the reality and live without him.

third is also very excited to get on the plane. he's so cute. later, our flight was called.

i didn't want them to take me... hello, i hate goodbyes.

i just found out that a few days ago, bever and tonliew are already together. imagine, from hate to love. and mark and prom didn't fight. i wasn't the reason, though they had small fights, they became okay right away. and bonzwin is already dating.

i'm happy for them and very grateful to force and book for helping me get third and his passport.

we got on the plane. i was a bit sensitive these past few days, becoming more selective about food. i became more emotional and wanted to see yin, just staring at his picture. but then i decided i didn't want to see him again.

"are you sleepy?" i asked third.

"yes, but i want to watch you," he said. he's so sweet.

"sleep first, i'm fine," i said, messing with his hair.

"are you sure you're okay?" he asked, and i nodded.

he lay down on my lap. after a while, i fell asleep.

yin's pov

"in the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take, but it's not over. i will find you, war."