Please remind me (who I really am)

Chapter 8

"Jennie?" Lisa gasped, staring at the figure in disbelief.

Jennie smiled, but that smile vanished as quickly as it had arrived on her face. Lisa could see that Jennie didn't look at all comfortable and, looking down, Lisa could see that she was wringing her hands. Jennie took a single hesitant step closer to the door, which seemed to be completely at odds to the way she had been hanging on the buzzer. It was almost as if, now that the door had been opened, Jennie didn't know what to do.

"Lisa, hi. Um... would it be okay if I came in?" Jennie asked, and she looked so small standing on Lisa's stoop, that despite her residual hurt, Lisa couldn't leave her standing there. She pulled the door fully open and stood aside, and Jennie brushed past her gently as she entered, her perfume hanging in the air between them.

"You can go upstairs," Lisa said quietly. "Watch out for the bike."

Jennie pulled off her sunglasses and glanced at the bike, perhaps remembering how she'd tripped over it the last time she'd been here, before nodding and heading up the way Lisa had indicated.

Lisa closed the door, turned the locks, and stood with her forehead resting on the painted wood for a few seconds, before following Jennie up.

Jennie was standing in the middle of the room, close to the door of the lounge, an expensive-looking backpack Lisa hadn't noticed before at her feet. As Lisa watched her, she pushed the hood off her head and ran her hands through her hair roughly, as if it was in the way of something. Lisa leaned back against the kitchen worktop and waited Jennie out.

Jennie twisted her fingers together, looking nothing like the elegant woman she'd last seen in a hotel lobby over a month ago. She looked softer, but the longer Lisa watched her, the more distressed Jennie seemed to become, and Lisa eventually pushed herself off the counter and directed Jennie towards the sofa.

Jennie toed off the trainers she had on, revealing pink running socks, and tucked her legs underneath her. "You must be wondering why I'm here," Jennie began, her voice wavering and apologetic.

"Little bit," Lisa replied, trying to remain as though she was unmoved, she failed. She was worried. "Are you alright? You seem... not yourself?"

"I'm sorry for- for just showing up here unannounced," Jennie burst out, looking down at her hands. Lisa looked down too, and saw that Jennie's fingernails were short and looked as if Jennie had bitten them. "I really didn't know where else to go."

"Hey, it's okay. You're always welcome here," Lisa said in what she hoped was a soothing voice.

Jennie shot her a grateful glance before looking down at her hands again, as if whatever it was that she had to say, she couldn't say while she was looking at Lisa.

"Someone found some... some photos of me," Jennie said in a harsh voice, and she shot up off the sofa and started pacing, dashing angry tears from her face with quick, sharp movements. "Some photos of me back when I was floundering after what my father did. It was such a stupid decision," she burst out angrily. "I don't know why I- no, I do. They're topless photos, essentially. I just did them because I wanted to... fuck, I just wanted to feel good about myself just for one thing back then. Just one fucking thing. I had all the negatives, the photographer signed an NDA, I don't know how they got out. My team is trying to find the source."

"Shit, Jennie, I'm so sorry," Lisa started.

"But that's not all," Jennie continued in a cracked voice. "One of my exes, not Jeongyeon, must've taped... must've... they made a video of us when we- when... fuck," and Lisa could see the moment Jennie seemed to break in half. Lisa leaped up and caught her in her arms, and pulled her back to the sofa, pulled her down beside her, and Jennie just... let her. Jennie let herself be pulled into Lisa's embrace, and curled up against her while she cried big, heaving, jerky sobs into her shoulder. Jennie clutched at Lisa's shirt with her fists, the fabric pulling, and Lisa swore she could feel Jennie's tears soaking down onto her skin.