Why We Broke Up || YeonBin

Letter #17

Do you remember that one serious fight we had two years ago, I think?

You didn't to talk to me for hours. Shut your bedroom door at my face and refused to eat because that would mean you'd have to get out of your room and you didn't want to see me.

I stayed there at your door. I didn't leave since the moment you walked in. I just sat there on the floor, waiting for you to finally warm up and talk to me but you've always been so stubborn so that left us with nothing but silence for four hours.

The most excruciating four hours of my life, by the way.

That day I had a meeting with a client. It was an out-of-town photoshoot and apparently my car thought it was the perfect time to break down and be a bitch so I borrowed yours. And since you could never resist my handsome face, you gave me the keys without any second thoughts and even stole a kiss.

No, do not roll your eyes right now. It was you who stole it, not me. I would argue.

So yeah, because of my cute little adorable baby named Choi Yeonjun, I was able to get into the place without any problems.

However, the problem occurred when I was on the way back home.

We took longer than expected and we just packed up when the sun was about to set so it was getting a little dark and the road was kind of steep because the location was uphill. Don't get me wrong, I am not a terrible driver, you know it. But this poor little stray cat had a broken leg and was having trouble crossing the road and if I didn't avoid it, I would've hit it.

So I swerved and then crashed your car against the nearest tree. On purpose.

But it got a bit too harsh than I expected so the car broke down and I harmed myself. Ended up with a few scratches and....yeah. You came to meet me in the hospital and you were fuming, I could've sworn I saw smokes coming out of your cute lil nose.

You were enraged and were so ready to fight anyone who could've been the reason of what happened until you heard what really went down.

I had wounds and bruises that needed to get patched up first before we could leave and all throughout the session in the hospital and the car ride back home, you didn't utter a single word to me. You were just so quiet, focused in driving and I was trying my best to get you to talk and repeatedly apologizing but you were such a tough cookie to break.

I even offered to give you my car in an attempt to make up for the damage in yours but you wouldn't budged, even until we were already inside your apartment, you still wouldn't talk to me and went straight in your room without sparing me a single glance.

I knew you were upset. And I did my best to apologize, right at your door but you locked it so I stayed there on the floor, instead. But the thing is, I was apologizing for what I assumed you were mad about.

Which was a completely wrong assumption.

And I only found out about it when you finally opened the door after an hour or so.

You were crying then. Your eyes were red and puffy and tear tracks were all over your face as you glanced up at me. I remember my tongue getting tied the moment I saw your state. I was panicking because I thought I made you so frustrated after crashing your car but then you went to embrace me real tight just when I was spurting out apologies again.

You said you were so scared.

I froze on my spot.

You sobbed at my chest and your grip around my waist was so tight, it hurt because I had some scratches on my back and stomach but I couldn't bring myself to make you move away. You were sobbing and staining my shirt while you talked about how afraid you were when you received a call saying I was sent into the hospital.

You scolded me so much that night, darling. But you were still crying while doing so. You were upset because I was reckless and careless that I hurt myself and you told me you wouldn't know what to do if something bad really happened to me.

You made me promise not to do something that hasty again, remember? You made me do that for about seven times until you fell asleep.

And then you didn't let me sit behind the wheel for a month.

Every where I had to go, you'd drive me there instead because you were still afraid I'll do something stupid again.

And you were right.

I wonder how long it would take you to talk to me now after you learn about what I did.

I did something without thinking today and I definitely got what was coming for me.

You can call me stupid after I tell you this and I wouldn't blame you, honestly. Even I, myself, think that what I did was really foolish and acted upon sheer impulsiveness and for that, I would not defend my actions.

Yeonjun hyung, I landed a punch in my dad's face. I think I broke his nose.

I did it without hesitation. I was seeing red and I was so furious that I just barged in inside his office, pulled him straight out of his chair and punched him square on his face.

He yelled at me, called his stupid men that were so dumb to follow his commands because they thought they would somehow receive mercy and reward in the form of money.

They held me back but I was just bursting out of rage so I kept on trying to break free even though there were 3 pairs of arms holding me back. And then this asshole of a man I have for a father returned that punch I gave him with several more until I was lying there, beaten up on the floor.

Don't worry though, baby. I'm completely fine. I'm locked up inside my room without any food until tomorrow afternoon with nothing to tend on my wounds and bruises but I'm okay. So don't worry.

But I only did what I did because I was so scared when I heard the news you were admitted in the hospital.

My mind went blank and I just couldn't think properly, I'm pretty sure I was losing my sanity when I heard it from Jimin hyung that you were there.

And when I saw you, unconscious, I don't know what happened but- hyung, a part of me broke.

The hyungs tried to stop me, Seokjin hyung was the one to remind me how dangerous it was if I would go and visit you but they can't expect me to just stay still and not do anything when I know you're there and it might be because of me. I immediately thought it was my father's doing, considering the shit he pulled with your information so I didn't think twice and went to see you.

I just had to make sure you'll be alright or I'm gonna go insane.

Thankfully the doctor said it was just because of fatigue and stress. And the fact that you were skipping your meals. Yeonjun-ah, why aren't you taking care of yourself? Is it because of me? I'm sorry, hyung, I really am but please don't treat yourself like this just because of someone like me. Don't do this, sweetheart. You're worrying me.

And even now, I still couldn't be assured because I left when you're still asleep and I still haven't received any news that you're finally awake.

I'm sorry I had to leave so soon, but the hyungs said it's better that you won't see me and I agree because I wasn't planning on letting go when I held your hand. I just- I miss you so much Yeon-ah, and being able to see and touch you again felt like I was given the chance to see light again after being trapped in the dark. Although it was for a short while, it really helped.

I love you so much, Yeonjun hyung. You have no idea, even I, myself, am not aware just how much I'm willing to give up for you. I love you without limits and for all that I am, so please, please, take care of yourself, honey.
It'll all be over soon and I'll be back to you, I promise.

I promise.