Just Friends

Twenty Seven

It had been days.

Her phone was off. There were no updates in social media. Calls from my agency to her agency were also not responded to. Calls to Hyo Jin and her other friends were likewise rejected, except for that one time Hyo Jin picked up just to say, "Stop calling me, you jerk."

Even Mr. Hong, her assistant, was not taking my calls.

Heck, even Mr. Jang barely talked to me and had a constant disappointed look directed at me these days.

I berated myself. I wanted this, I reminded myself. If I'm hurting, imagine how she's feeling now.

I pulled my hair and hit the wall. Ye Jin, where are you? Are you alright?

When it hit the two week mark, I was numb.

I went to shoots performing like I've been trained to do all these years, but when I got home I couldn't muster enough energy to take care of myself. I depended on Mr. Jang to get food and have cleaners come over.

I stopped shaving, only doing so when the endorsement shoot required it.

At the office, if I wasn't reading the contracts or office paperwork, I was staring outside – as if scanning the city that way would somehow give me a clue as to where Ye Jin was.

Mr. Jang entered my office and served my lunch. "Thank you."

"You need to eat, Hyun Bin-ssi. You've lost too much weight."

I didn't respond and continued to stare at the street down below.

"She's... she's okay."

My head whipped around so fast, I was momentarily dizzy. "What?"

"I've spoken to Mr. Hong. She's fine. You do not have to worry."

"Where is she?" I asked, searching his face.

He sadly shook his head. "Mr. Hong would not tell me anymore than that Ms. Son is doing alright."

"I understand."

Mr. Jang stood at the opposite side of my desk for a little while longer before retreating. But then, he headed back to me. "There is something else."

"What is it?"

"Mr. Hong... Ms. Son wishes to drop by to gather some of her belongings she left at your home," he said, almost apologetically.

It was a stab in my heart but I knew I deserved it. "Sure. Tell them I'm fine with it."

Part of me felt like this was a chance for me to see her, but then that would be unfair since I was the one who asked for this break. Of all the dumb things I've done, this was probably at the top of my list.

I needed to sort out my feelings then explain to her. I owed her at least that.

I told my agency that I would be out for a week and booked myself to a members only resort in Namhae, which would allow me to play golf but would also allow some access to nature treks.

"We are running a special TRX session this week but you need to book your slot in advance should you be interested," the receptionist informed me at check in.

I indulged myself on the first day, playing golf and enjoying the restaurant food, purposely avoiding scripts and only reading for leisure.

The next day, I decided to go on one of the nature walks the resort offered. I went alone only following a map that led to a closer view of the lake. On the clearing, I found a surprising array of flowers. "Ye Jin would love this." The thought brought both happy and sad emotions given our situation now.

I sat and watched the lake. It was very still. The only sound I could hear were the birds chirping and some rustling of leaves as the wind blew softly.

I thought back to all the years I had known Ye Jin – as a colleague, then a friend, then eventually a girlfriend. I knew I wanted a more private life, while she wanted to continue to act. I was worried that her continuing to take project after project and keeping us a secret meant that there would be no space for a family or even a husband. She continued to take projects so that meant she wasn't ready to marry, right?

That was when it hit me.

All of these things were MY thoughts. I never asked her. And the one time I brought it up with her, I broke it off. Great job, TaePyung.

But, what if she affirmed what I thought about already? That she wasn't ready to get married? What would I do? Could I actually go through with the rest of my life without her?

I really wanted to get married and I only wanted to marry Ye Jin.

The rest of the specifics are things I couldn't decide on my own. I needed her input, assuming she would still hear me out. And if we did get to talk, if she wasn't ready for anything more in our relationship, then I needed to hear what her plans are and see where we fit in all that.

I also have to accept that this might not turn out with a happy ending. If our plans would not align and there was no compromise, I knew I had to learn to let go.

No matter how painful it was.

With that sobering thought, I headed back. I still needed to figure out how to get Ye Jin to talk to me but for now, I needed something else. I needed to workout my frustrations and my pain.

Heading to the reception, I asked, "The TRX session. There's one tomorrow, correct? Is there still a slot open?"

"Yes but it's only for the private instructor. This has a higher rate than the one for the group."

She gave me the specifics, which I found amenable. "Is there a session for the morning? Maybe at 9am?"

I was confirmed for that. Still, I needed something to do tonight so I booked the private pool and swam laps until I was exhausted enough to just drop in bed.

I woke up late, grabbed a quick bite and was five minutes late to my session. Running in, the music was already on full blast with the instructor doing stretches at the far end of the gym. "I'm sorry I'm late."

"That's alright but we cannot extend –" the instructor's reply was cut off as we met each other's gaze.

It was Jin.