Paranoia of the Starved |Kankuro|

Chapter 12

The day passed quickly, I passed my exams, got my headband from Shiruma-sensei, and decided to visit Pako. It has been a while since I've actually seen her, due to all of my training. I've been feeding her, but it's been a while since I've spent time with the little piece of night. 

As I saw the cat, I knelt down to her level, as she trilled and purred as she rubbed against my legs. I gave her some chicken, as I ran my fingers through her dark fur. She had gotten bigger, so I'm guessing she was rather young when I found her. Maybe juvenile. 

"I'm sorry, you might not see me again for a while.. I'm become a ninja.." I sighed out to her. I knew that she couldn't understand me, but it felt nice to talk out, without any worries. Without any anxiety. Without any fear. 

It seemed like I constantly felt fear, because I did. I couldn't control it, and I didn't know why it persisted. I was just scared. I didn't want Orochimaru to find out. The Kazekage to find out. Not even Shiruma, or Aoba sensei. 

No one. This was just my little secret, that no one else would know, and it would stay like that until I die. Maybe I should just let the plot go through. No one important dies.. right? I could just quit right now, run for the hills and never look back. 

I pushed the palms of my hands into my eyes to keep the tears from seeping out. I knew I was wrong, and I couldn't run away and hide. My body trembled, and I felt Pako rubbing against me. I let out a breath I didn't notice I was holding. 

I will make it through. 

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I hid under my covers. I could hear my alarm going off, but I was too scared to even reach my hand out and turn it off. I didn't want to become a ninja. I didn't want to be found out. If they found me out I was going to me tortured and killed by anyone who could get their hands on me. They would kill Pako for leverage. 

I heard a tapping on my window, and continued shaking under my covers. I heard the window slide open and I quickly rolled off the bed, and crawled under it. Well I would if I could, but I had found myself being grabbed by the collar of my shirt. 

"You're not going anywhere..!" I heard Shiruma-sensei state bluntly as he pulled me to my feet.

"You know, you're suppose to be in class in.." he checked his watch, "5 minues." I froze a moment in my spot, gulping down a bit. 

"I don't wanna go.." I sighed out, looking down at my feet. 

"Well you have to, now come on.." Shiruma-sensei huffed out. "You've already made it this far, you are not turning back now, young lady!" 

At this point, I had allowed myself to be towed all the way to the school. Where I saw Aoba sensei listing off teams. "Oh, hello Himiko, I thought you'd never make it," he commented. "Take a seat."

I glared back towards Shiruma sensei as I trudged to my seat, next to Gaara. He simply ignored me. I wasn't about to ask him what I missed, and I was a tad too anxious to interrupt Aoba while he was speaking. 

I glanced towards Kankuro, who I had just noticed was wearing his standard gear. I smiled to myself a bit. Then I was wondering, since I existed, what would the sand sibling team look like?

"Team 44, Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro Sabuku. Your team will be lead by Baki." I suppose things would remain the same. Then, where would that put me..?

"Team 45, Himiko, Akane Habahana, and Toru Kana. Your team will be lead by Shiruma." Aoba stated. I felt my heart leap in a bit of joy when I learned that Shiruma-sensei would be leading the team. Then it dropped once more, when I realized that Akane didn't like me very much. And I didn't really like her. Because she was a bitch. 

I sighed out and rested my head against the desk. Not wanting to deal with people at the moment. 

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At lunch, I hid away. I didn't feel like talking to anyone right now, and that was fine. I still didn't want to become a ninja. But I had to. I munched on the jerky I had. I really didn't want to deal with anyone right now. 

All I wanted to do was bury myself under the sand and bake to death.

So that is was I did. I sunk into the sand face down and let the sun beat down on my back. I heard the bell go off, indicating I should be going back inside, although I stayed right were I was. I didn't want to deal with anything at the moment. 

I then felt myself being swopped up by the back collar of my shirt. "Come on now! You have to go meet your teammates!" I heard Shiruma-sensei beam. 

"I don't wanna.." I whined out a little bit. 

"Well, you have to, now lets get going, or else I will be dragging you there," he stated bluntly, dropping me back to the ground. I pushed my face into the sand, trying to grab onto it like it was a blanket. 

Grabbing me by my collar I get dragged across the sand, I allowed my body to go limp as I get dragged all the way through the school. Probably getting my face littered with splinters but it was better than facing the world. 

Which would in fact be my inevitable doom. I heard a door open and I heard a few giggled, and I didn't even bother to peak out towards the class, because I knew that they were laughing at me, and that was fine. Everything was fine. 

"I'm here for team 45?" He called out, and I heard a few footsteps. 

"Alrighty, if that's you two, then lets get going, I've already got Himiko," Shiruma-sensei chirped as I was dragged away. 

Like I said, everything will be fine.