The Scarlet Sweater

5. Mission Implausible

In the present, Jeni caressed her sweater with the utmost anger. Having to adorn this awful garment was more than she could bear. In order to function in this world again, she would need her laptop. She devised a simple plan in which she could again acquired the machine. It was simple, yet elegant, with a hint of complexity. The next day she would put her plan into action.

On her walk to school the next day, she felt eyes glued on her essence. “Look there, son!” a father exclaimed. “It’s that child whom plagiarized!”

Suddenly, Jeni snapped. She couldn’t take the insults (granted, it was only one, but still). She turned slowly to the man and said: “Screw off! It’s my own fault I have to wear this scarlet piece of trash, not anyone else’s! So you can mind your own business, or get out of my life!”

Jeni was shocked, the man was livid, the child was crying. Jeni continued on her way, thinking about the ultimate sass she had just emitted from her lips. She soon overcame that sense of shock and continued on her way to school. The man had disappeared so she just assumed it was over… Unfortunately he had just disappeared to grab some rotting peaches from the ground around the four peach trees behind his house. He and his son (in a magical moment of bonding - they had been growing apart for some time now, the boy was playing with ponies and Barbies rather than the GI JOEs his father had bought him… that’s not important) threw the peaches at Jeni and chased her all the way to school.

As she burst through the doors of the school, Jeni took a deep breath and slid down the wall (reaching a sitting position across from the high school office). Today was the day, the day that she would proceed with her plan to steal her laptop! There is one slight detail that has failed to be mentioned thus far… It’s 4:00 in the morning… and it’s Saturday (NOT DURING SPEECH SEASON). There was no reason for Jeni to be at school today… She slowly pulled out her iPod and inserted her headphones into her ears, pressing play on her Mission Impossible theme music.

She army crawled over to the office door and picked the lock with the bobbi pins holding her bangs back. As her hair flopped into her eyes, she heard the delightful clicking noise that signaled the door’s unlocking. She slowly pushed the door open and continued her army crawl over to Mr. Schwartz’s door. She unlocked that as well and crawled in. She pulled a flashlight out of her backpack, turned it on and held it with her teeth. She found the safe hidden behind the frightening painting of a clown on stilts riding a donkey.

How was she going to crack the case (“Bum bum, bum bum bum, bum bum bum” the music went in the background)? Out of frustration, she abandoned all logic and slammed her fist onto the cold metal. The door swung open, revealing all the treasures inside. Her laptop was shining with a glory only the joy an Apple product could bring. She considered taking other objects (A stretched-out slinky, a rusty pocket knife, and a torn My Little Pony sweater lay among them), but quickly dismissed the idea (as she didn’t want to be in more trouble; “Da da daaaaaa! Da da daaaaaa!” the music continued).

She grasped the handle of the case and began to exit the room. The door handle squeaked and rattled. This is too easy, Jeni thought. As soon as the door creaked open, she saw Mr. Schwartz standing in the doorway.

“What are you doing?” Mr. Schwartz asked.

“Nothing,” Jeni said. “I’m not doing anything that won’t require more corporal punishment.”

“You know full well that CP is not something we do here. Only the dungeons for the worst students,” Mr. Schwartz said. Jeni sighed. She had been so close to getting the thing she cherished most back, but alas, this wasn’t going to be the case.

“Nonetheless, I’m not going to punish you,” Schwartz said. “You’ve been through enough.” Jeni squealed, a high-pitched squeal that shattered Mr. Schwartz’ eardrums. Blood squirted from his ears and he quietly dismissed Jeni.

“Ms. Leversee,” Mr. Schwartz said, “Please don’t tell anyone about this. If the students find out about my soft side, they won’t treat me with as much respect as they do now.”

“Why wouldn’t I tell anyone about your generosity?” Jeni replied earnestly.

Mr. Schwartz grabbed her shoulders. “I have a reputation to uphold. I can’t be run out of town because I was nice to someone. Do you understand?” He shook Jeni severely.

She coughed and spluttered. “I have one question for you,” Jeni asked, “Who told you about my plan to get my laptop?”

Mr. Schwartz was quiet for a second before he whispered: “Daniel.”