The Scarlet Sweater

12. Hestersee and the Tutor

Jeni wasn’t quite sure what to think when Juliearl told her that she was now of flesh and blood. Having her as an endless resource of gratuitous utility was helpful in situations (such as meeting Daniel in the lunch room around midnight). However, Jeni readily accepted that her daughter was real. The two embraced, and they decided to take a walk in the country.

Juliearl held her mother’s hand and looked at everything as if it were new. Her eyes were trying to digest everything as though it had previously appeared different to her. Jeni couldn’t help but smile and look slightly down at her as she observed her surroundings. Not long ago, she had been only an infant. Now, she was just slightly younger than her mother.

Has it really been three years? though Jeni. Three years since my public shame? It didn’t seem like so long since she stood atop that table and took in the ridicule. Three years since Daniel had pawned Juliearl off on her as a bauched FCS assignment. Three years since she and Nic had had a decent relationship. Now everything seemed strained. She was in love with two boys, both ruggedly handsome, but both with very different backgrounds. Would she ever find happiness?

Since Daniel’s resignation freshmen year as the football captain, Nic had stepped up as the leader. He had filled the position well, but he didn’t have his heart in the right place. He was still tutoring Daniel, running his grades into the ground, and telling him it would eventually get better.

The truth was, Nic’s physical appearance was slowly deteriorating. It was not obvious to the casual observer; you really had to be looking at him a while to see it. Bags had grown under his eyes and his clothes hung a little looser over his once super-buff frame. His eyes occasionally glowed red (from allergies, everyone thought), but Nic knew in his heart that it was from his constant belittling of Daniel. Daniel had been the one who was turning Nic into the devil himself.

During one of their study sessions, Daniel had confided in Nic that he was going to pass in due time.

“Of course,” said Nic. “We all do. Now continue conjugating your sums.”

“No,” Daniel replied, suddenly irritated that Nic wasn’t understanding. “I’m dying.”

“At this very moment? What would’ve caused it?”

“My spinal injury. The fact I’m slowly losing my will to live after losing everything I was passionate about. I have nothing to live for. And now my spine is slowly shutting down the rest of my body.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Nic replied softly. “I had no idea.”

“I’m sure you did,” Daniel said. “You constantly asked me if I was okay, and I lied to you. I just really appreciate that you haven’t ever lied to me. You’ve never been anything but one hundred percent honest with me.”

“Gee, Daniel,” Nic started. “You don’t have to—”

“But I want to!” Daniel insisted. “I just thought I should tell you because you’re the person I’m closest to the in world.”

“What would your virgin followers say to that?” Nic asked.

“The girls swoon at me because they know they can’t have me. I don’t want them. I just want to be left alone. I can’t please anyone. Not anymore at least…”

This is depressing, Nic thought. And, indeed, it was. After an awkward silence, the two continued to study until 4:00 AM. Daniel walked doggedly toward  home to fall into a deep slumber (he slept numerous amounts these days) and this left Nic alone to cope with his feelings. He thought deeply about the past three years and how they had really affected him. He was the captain of the football team and the most popular guy in school. What more could one ask for?