The Redeemed Soul [Dorian Gray]

Searching

Rosemary spent the entire evening wondering about what decision to come to. She wanted to leave London. In fact, she needed to leave London. That had been her purpose in life and what she had been preparing for.

She knew that no man would court her and that she would never get married. She didn't have any need to, being happy as she was and just wanting to live a happy life.

The minute she had talked to Dorian, she knew that her feelings were changing but she wasn't expecting him to feel the same way. She was not expecting him to tell her that he loved her or that he would kiss her.

Oh, the kiss. Why did he do it? Everything that Rosemary had prepared for would become meaningless if she agreed to court Dorian. But her heart was screaming at her to say 'yes'.

"Rosemary?" Diana's voice echoed in the hallway.

"Yes?" She called out as she walked down the stairs.

"Will you please help me set the table?"

"Is it dinner time already?" She wondered as she checked the time.

"How long have you been daydreaming?" Diana joked but once she saw the serious look on her daughter's face, she tried to talk to her. "Is everything okay? You look a little tense."

"No, nothing is alright." Rosemary admitted.

"Why don't you talk to me about it?" Diana suggested. "We can have dinner later." She said, sitting down on one chair and gestured for her daughter to sit in the chair next to her.

"Dorian told me that he wanted to court me." Just saying it out loud made everything even more tense. And real. She couldn't run away from her problems even though she very much would have liked to postpone them.

"He did?" Diana looked happy but she was trying to control it since her daughter wasn't half as happy as she was. "What did you tell him?"

"I told him that...I needed some time to think."

"Very diplomatic answer. I like that." Diana approved. "Is that why you have been silent ever since you came back? I thought that you were worrying about the application and...oh." She started. "This is about France."

"If I agree to him, I will be locked inside a cage of his society. I will be forced to attend stupid parties and gatherings but I will have someone to love me."

"He told you that he loved you?"

"Yes." She smiled, hearing Dorian's words in her head.

"Continue."

Rosemary nodded. "But if I decide to leave London for France, only one question is running in my mind. Will I be alone forever? Will I ever like someone the way I like Dorian?"

"Look, dear." Diana said. "I think that you are being faced with a decision that is definitely one of the most hardest and difficult in your life. You know the two things that you need to choose between. Now ask yourself this." She sighed. "Do you think that Dorian is worth leaving your dream behind?"

Rosemary thought of it from that angle. "I don't know." She admitted.

"You yourself told me that he adored Lord Henry. Do you think that a feeling like that would change?" She asked. "Even for love?"

"I did request him to stay away from Henry until I made a decision. I know that it was wrong of me to do so but I didn't know what else to do." She wondered how she ever got herself into that situation. Maybe she should have just stayed silent at the night of the welcome party. "I need Basil's advice for this. Where is he anyway?"

"Oh, I don't know. He told me that he had left his brushes back at the mansion and informed me that he might come home late."

"I need to talk to him immediately. Can I go search for him? I need some outside air as well."

"Of course, dear. I'll call Mr. David." Diana informed.

So, Rosemary wore her coat and took a shawl with her in case of an emergency. "Kelso's mansion, Mr. David." She told him.

"Certainly, Miss Hallward."

Rosemary was in a serious dilemma. What was she supposed to do? She couldn't live with herself if she hurt Dorian or lost the opportunity to leave London. Could there be a way to get both? No, not possible. One cannot have everything that they want.

She rang the bell of the mansion and Victor opened the door. "Rosemary! What a pleasant surprise."

"Victor, is my brother here?" She asked him.

"I'm afraid that Basil and Mr. Gray left with Lord Henry an hour ago."

"What?" Just hearing his name made her blood boil. "Do you know where they went?" Victor looked hesitant to tell her and she knew that he knew. "Victor, please. It is a very important situation."

"Alright." He said. "But you did not hear it from me."

She zipped her mouth. "Promise."

"They were going to the pub uptown." He said, the last two words being codewords for the truth.

"Oh!" She exclaimed, wondering why they would go to such a hedonistic place. But the answer lay in one person - Henry.

"If you are planning to go there, I would try to convince you from doing so. It is not a nice place." He tried convincing her.

"I'm afraid that I must go. I need to talk to my brother." She said. "And I don't believe that he went there for what I think he did. He wouldn't." She said, not knowing if she was talking about her brother or Dorian.

"Well, take this." He handed her a cane. "Just in case."

"Thank you, Victor." She said, taking it from him.

"Be careful, Mary."

Once she got back into the carriage and told Mr. David her next destination, he tried to talk her out of it. "It is very late, dear girl and I do not think that you want to go there."

"I'm afraid that I must. It is not out of pleasure, Mr. David. I hope you don't take it the wrong way. I need to search for Basil. Mother is worried about him."

"I would never take your decision in the wrong way, dear. I've known you all my life."

"Then please, help me." She said. "Maybe tonight will help me decide to come to a very important conclusion."

And it did.