Choice's Curse {d.m.}

Violence is Never the Answer-But It Sure Feels Good

-Content warning for light violence, as well as intimidation from a man and mentions of abuse.-

Enjoy!
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Two weeks passed, and I hadn't said a single word to Cho or the rest of the group since the night Harry and I had kissed. I sat alone at most meal times, and I didn't speak to them if we had any classes together. I wasn't punishing them, not really. I just wanted to honestly see if any of them truly cared about me. I also needed space to work through the awful things Cho had said to me. Maybe by distancing myself, I was proving her right, but I had to know if the people I cared most about in the entire world actually cared about me the same. Really, I hadn't said a word to anyone, besides the odd answer to a question from a teacher, or the occasional sorry to someone if I bumped into them in a corridor. The loneliness was almost comforting in its familiarity, and I could feel that distant emotion of numbness and emptiness encroaching on me every day that my supposed friends continued on with their lives, not giving me a second though. Seeing them laugh together at meal times, seeing Harry and Ginny out on the Quidditch pitch, seeing Cho and Cedric be so disgustingly in love fed the vicious voice that hid in my brain, that told me that maybe I was worthless, maybe I was so damaged and broken and lost that I didn't deserve love, didn't deserve to be in Slytherin.

October's frost was starting to paint the grass every morning, and I could see my breath when I ventured outside, the air biting at my nose and cheeks and turning them pink. Normally I would be coming from Transfiguration when I made my way down to the dungeon, but Hagrid had asked me to stop by to bring Slughorn an ingredient he had been growing for him, so by the time I entered the Potions classroom, my hair was windblown, tendrils of darkness framing my face, my cheeks and nose had been kissed pink by the frigid air, and my chest was heaving from trying to make it there on time, my ribs still slightly tender from the fall, and the cold weather only seemed to worsen them.

"Ah, Ms. Adler! I was beginning to wonder where you were." Slughorn greeted me.

"Hagrid, ingredient, for you," I panted out, holding the brown parcel up with a shaky hand.

"Wonderful! Just wonderful," Slughorn walked from the front of the class and I handed the package to him. "If you could kindly take your seat, we need to begin today's lesson." As everyone turned around, I noticed Harry and Hermione's gazes lingering on me, but I kept my eyes on Slughorn's retreating form.

I nodded and made my way to the table Malfoy was sitting at diagonally to the right of the door. Placing my bag on the table, I collapsed into my chair, chest still heaving with lost breath. 

Malfoy leaned over to me slightly, making his expensive cologne drift towards me. It was actually a pleasant scent, musk and something oddly warm and inviting. "Heard you and Potter's little gang are in a fight. What, they finally realized you're a pain in the ass to have around?" His voice was low, soft, but it didn't soften the impact of his words.

Tears of frustration burned at my nose and I grit my teeth, pulling out my parchment and smoke-gray quill. "None of your fucking business, Malfoy. Don't you have better, more Death Eater related things to worry about, you fucking prick?"

Malfoy laughed. He actually let out a laugh. It was the first time I had ever heard him do so, and I hated to admit that it wasn't the worst sound I had ever heard. It seemed to rumble deep in his chest, warm at the back of his throat. "Maybe not hanging out with those bastards has finally given you some fire, Adler. If you weren't still such an obnoxious suck-up, I might actually be impressed."