Choice's Curse {d.m.}

It Feels Good to Have a Friend

I kept up my uneven, quick pace until I reached the ground floor of the castle, and I felt like I was finally able to pull in a complete breath. The corridors were still fairly crowded with students returning from their final classes of the day, so I did my best to wipe my face clean of any betraying emotions and I made my way through the throngs of people laughing and shouting in celebration of the last day of the week, trying to keep my steps normal, even though I longed for the safety and privacy of my dormitory. The journey seemed to take forever, my mind turning with what Malfoy had said, what he had done. To say I was confused was an understatement of massive proportions. I could not think of a single reason why he had wiped that tear off my cheek. It was so wildly out of character, so close to something resembling kindness, that it set me a bit on edge. Malfoy had to have done it for a reason; he never did anything that wasn't thought out or planned. I had been sorry for slapping him, but I couldn't deny it felt good. As I made my way up the stairs to the Ravenclaw common room entrance, I couldn't help but wonder if I'd think the same when he inevitably returned the ill will.

I was so caught up that I didn't notice Hermione standing outside the entrance, her arms encircling a pile of books that hadn't fit in her already full bag.

"Elaine!" Her voice pulled me out of the pool of thoughts I had nearly been drowning in. "Merlin's beard, I've been waiting here for so long."

I looked at her, resentment bubbling up in my stomach. "What do you want?" I asked, my voice a bit frigid.

"I wanted to talk to you. And I noticed you didn't take very good notes in Slughorn's, so I wanted to offer you mine." She thrust out a piece of parchment covered in looped, black ink. I grabbed it from her, not bothering to put it in my bag. "Look, Elaine, Cho told me about your fight."

I felt my jaw clench and my face turn stony, but Hermione continued. "She---she told me what she said and I just...I had to let you know we don't think that. None of us." I had never seen her so nervous. She was always so confident, so sure of herself, that this side of her was almost... unnerving. "I know I should've found you sooner, and I know I had plenty of opportunities to talk to you over the past two weeks, but--"

I cut her off. "Yes. You did. But you didn't. None of you did. Don't worry, even I can understand what that means, Hermione, even though I'm not as bright as you or Cho." I spat the words, and discomfort flashed in Hermione's eyes. "I got the message loud and clear, so don't you worry. None of you have to continue pretending you can stand to be around me." I tried to push past her, but surprisingly, she grabbed my arm, her hand squeezing gently.

"We're not pretending. We never have been. Can't you see that? We gave you space because...well, because when Cho told us what she said to you, we figured you wouldn't want to be around any of us, least of all her." She looked at me, her eyes bright and clear, almost pleading. "When she told us what she said, we were all disgusted. Cedric didn't talk to her for two days, and I'd never heard Harry so angry, and---and I..." She trailed off, shaking her head. "Whatever you might think, we did defend you and Cho's never been so sorry in her entire life."

Pulling my hand out of her grasp gently, I shook my head. "I don't think I can forget what she said and just get over it, Hermione. I really don't. She said," my voice broke and I winced, "She said exactly what Malfoy has been saying since our first year. She has been the person I've complained to, and ranted to, and cried to about everything he's said, and the moment she could, she used those things against me. Don't you understand how horrible that was? I trusted her, and she used every single insecurity and secret and worry that I've ever had to hurt me."

Hermione's face was full of sadness and pain and I didn't know if it was for me or for her or for Cho. "Please, come back. We miss you. Harry hasn't been himself since that night. Ginny told me he just lost it one night after practice, when one of the younger players hadn't put away their broom. Ginny had to pull him away to get him to calm down."