froyo - tk.

twenty eight.

jungkook dashed into the hospital's closest bathroom, hastily checking the stalls for the presence of anyone. the place reeked of manure but that was the least of his worries.

he sank to his knees on the dirtied floor, hyperventilating on the spot.

"oh, god," he heavily breathed. "fuck."

a single tear fell from his cheek, and from there the floodgates opened.

a pained sob escaped from his mouth. he had went from being reasonably stable to hanging on thread. the entire world turned into a blur. jungkook couldn't sense or feel anything.

everything was just gone.

it was the least of his expectations for things to become this serious. he wouldn't have even considered it in a million years.

his throat burned as he formed a silent scream. he was frustrated, burdened, and agonized. every thread of his happiness dissipated in that moment.

he crawled, grabbing ahold of the sink. he did not have the sufficient amount of physical or mental strength to walk on his feet.

his upper body and shoulders wracked every sound that let loose and his chest rose in frustration.

"i hate myself."

jungkook gazed at himself in the mirror. his black hair was messily parted in several different directions and his face was flushed-out red.

his head violently trembled at the view.

"i fucking hate myself!" he thundered.

he connected his veiny fist with the mirror, shattering it in the process. the ravenette was showered with the glass fragments that flew in every direction.

it was as if a ticking pressure bomb made its way into exploding inside him. he proceeded to punch the mirror again, disregarding the blood streaming down his arm.

he punched, and continued punching.

"i'm such a fucking dumbass," he cried. "i'm so stupid!"

jungkook loudly grunted, examining his newly bruised fist that came with defined, purple blotches. it was a straining feeling, but he was numbed of the pain due to his adrenaline rush.

he felt as though he didn't have the given right to see taehyung's body. his insensitive actions were the cause and this was simply the outcome. he was of no place to earn that privilege.

i deserve nothing but misery. i should just fucking kill myself, just like him.

the door quietly swung open as small footsteps made their way near him. jungkook glanced up to a paled jimin who wore a blank expression on his face.

the ravenette groaned. "go ahead, hit me with all the insults you have. i deserve it."

jimin traveled to the sink before leisurely washing his hands. it was perceptible that he was suppressing certain emotions, but he refused to reveal it in front of jungkook.

"i have nothing to say to you," he spoke.

jungkook's eyes scanned jimin's face, internally pleading for him to display an emotion. the blonde's face remained stubbornly dry and so the ravenette was forced to grieve on his own.

"i-i didn't know," jungkook started. he became engulfed with trembles. "i didn't know this would be the outcome."

a flame came to life inside jimin, bringing his chest to burn. he got rid of his mask of fake friendliness.

"whether or not you knew this would be the outcome, you should've believed taehyung in the moment."

"i know," jungkook replied, aware of his poor actions. "i know, please."

jimin lifted the younger up as if he were a rag doll. he grimaced at the dirt jungkook's clothes picked up from the ground.

searching through his pockets, he recovered a crumpled tissue that had been living there for weeks. jimin passed it to the ravenette and sat in silence, waiting for him to clean himself up.

"i don't deserve this," jungkook muttered. he tossed the tissue paper into the trash bin.

"i never said you deserved it, it's just gross to see you like this," the blonde retaliated. "if you're gonna ruin all of our lives you might as well look presentable while doing so."

jungkook slowly nodded, switching on the faucet in result. he threw splashes of chilling water on his face as he felt the surface of his arms fill with goosebumps.

he began to cry as he washed over his tears. "i didn't know i meant this much to him," he choked. his voice grew high-pitch. "i didn't."

jimin leaned on the sink. "i don't think it was necessarily just you."

water droplets dripped down from the ravenette's chin as he gave jimin a discerning look. he used the end of his shirt to wipe the remaining dampness off his face.

"what?"

"taehyung's mother left him as a kid for some dude," jimin started. he casted his eyes upon a distressed jungkook. "and his dad got admitted into a prison for trying to kill her."

"yes, i know that. what point are you getting at?" the ravenette questioned.

"you were almost like this beam of light that radiated in his life. i never saw him so happy until he met you," the blonde informed, "and then...you completely broke him."

jungkook's bottom lip quivered at his blunt statement, but there was no way to disagree. taehyung had dealt with multiple sorts of irreversible trauma his entire lifetime and the ravenette's actions were his breaking point.

all the obstacles taehyung dealt with all circulated around him. he was to blame.

jungkook exhaled, dusting the debris off his clothing. at this point, crying was ineffective. the best option was coming to terms with the damage he had done.

"i was even too scared to look at his fucking dead body," the ravenette admitted with a sense of embarrassment. he was ashamed.

jimin rose a brow at the younger's perplexing words.

jungkook gulped. there was a part of him that refused to believe that taehyung would never come bouncing around from some corner to elaborate humorous jokes with him again.

the pain that flowed from him was as palpable as a strong wind. he would never allow anyone to forgive him, let alone himself.

the ravenette's voice cracked. "i-i wish i didn't walk past his hospital room without checking on him. dead or not, i just wanted to hold him."

"dead?" jimin inquired.

"yes, jimin. he's gone."

"you dumbass," jimin chortled. "he didn't die, he literally just woke up a few minutes ago. i came in here to get you."

jungkook gasped.