KISS ME, LIAR | VKOOK

04 :: judging assholes & childhood traumas

⊱♡︎ *ೃ [담배]
⁀➷˚ ミ judging assholes & childhood
traumas 彡

Jungkook was tired — tired of the constant judging, the pointing of fingers, always getting critiqued for smoking or drinking.

in his eyes some judge because they're paid to, some judge intentionally, some to build self worth, some unwillingly. in the end their all the same — they dance in the fires of their own self loathing as they criticize those they see live their lifes to the fullest and not as society wants them too.

at just six years old, jungkook's brother and cousin tried to teach him to swim. they did so by throwing him into the pool.

almost immediately, his arms became like two skinny flailing distress signals. he would plead, "brother! please," but nobody listened.

the only thing heard was his skin splashing against the water, and his face, pale as a ghosts, submerging ever so often only to repeat the same words.

but in the midst of the sound of the splashing water and his own voice, he caught his brother words — "if he dies, i'm going to be in so much trouble."

he remembered his brother and cousin pulling him out from the jaws of the liquid beast before it could devour him whole.

he'd almost lost his life. it was the first time he'd experience the chilling coldness of death against his nape... but it would certainly not be the last.

to this day, as jungkook walks into a room full of people, all he sees is an ocean.

that's how he felt right now, he felt the water tugging at his feet and pulling at his arms. getting closer and closer to his neck, squeezing every time he got closer to the surface — he felt as if he was in a room filled with water.

as jungkook got closer to the counter he felt the stares dial down, as if the sharks and piranhas got bored of waiting for blood and left the poison infected waters.

"hello?" jungkook called, his finger sliding against the marble counter as he waited for someone to assist him.

"where the hell is that waiter?" jungkook whispered under his breath, his hand tracing against his ripped jeans and onto the pockets, reaching for a lighter and cigarette.

'smoking is a bad habit, they said,' jungkook thought to himself as he pressed his lips against a cigarette, inhaling the smoke of a bad habit — 'i'm a bad habit too.'

slowly burning; the drip, drop, splash of the ash. the orange ring glowing dimly. eating the paper and dissolving it into smoke.