We Go Down (Bremmy 2)

Chapterish 36

My back arches in anticipation.

"Brooks." I groan as his weight collapses against me.

He takes his right hand and scoops my ass up, pulling my leg almost to my chest. I feel him even deeper. As he pushing even harder, more urgently, we connect on a whole new level –and not in an emotional way.

My arms reach back to grab the broken spindles on his old headboard.

"Harder," I pant against his neck.

He responds with enthusiasm as my head almost smacks into the board behind it. Brooks's sweat drips onto my face and neck. Still, it's not enough of him.

I toss my head back as he pulls down on my hair. I squeeze my insides even tighter around him as he glides in and out.

I just keep thinking fuck morning jogs. This is the only workout I need.

Brooks reaches his hand between my legs and presses against me as I explode. Implode? Both.

"Fuck!" We both cry out, panting heavily.

He falls off me and we sink into the pillows –our musky scent engulfing his entire bedroom –the sheets still warm and wet with our sweat.

"Can't believe I leave tomorrow." I mumble against the pillow.

Brooks props himself up on his side and stares at me, quiet. I raise my eyebrow, inviting his inevitable comeback.

"You could stop leaving." He puts his hand in my hair.

"Brooks," I start. "Neither one of us lives here –in Jersey. Or did you forget this isn't home anymore?"

His hand travels down to mine as he plays with the now white ribbon that's flush against my finger. "This is home. Eventually we'll have to stop leaving each other."

"Eventually," I smirk, leaning in to kiss him. "We will."

"Let's talk plans after the wedding, yeah?" Brooks asks, sincere.

Damn this side of him. The committed and doting future husband side. Could be his sexiest side of all.

"After Trix and Travis have their fairytale day," I nod.

"Agreed." Brooks squeezes my waist.

"Two weeks," I whisper.

"Better rest up. I got some big plans for us." Brooks laughs.

His phone buzzes on the nightstand. He swipes a message away and kisses me once on the forehead.

I sit up as he slides from the bed. He pulls on gym shorts and a faded flannel.

"Hot date?" I quip.

"Not hotter than you," he grins.

He swoops his phone from the table and drops it in his pocket. I can't help but feel slightly nervous as he laces his sneakers.

"Seriously, where are you going?" I glance at my own phone on the floor beside me. "It's almost 1 AM."

"Just gotta get something. I'll be right back, promise." Brooks says from the door.

You know, the wise adult in me knows to question this –knows this recent behavior far outstrips the good sex. Even though I feel some claim to him as his secret-fiancé, I can't control him. I can't decide what he does as much as I may want to.

It's been that way since high school.

...

I wake at the ass crack of dawn to find the bed empty next to me. I'd panic if I didn't remember waking up when Brooks finally slide in.

I dress and gather my shit up from Brooks's room. The morning sun seeps through the windows and paints the hallway in golden light. Brody greets me in the kitchen. Lauren is at the cutting board next to a bowl of strawberries.

"Morning. Jay went to get gas." Brody says.

"Got it." I stretch.

"Coffee's ready," Lauren calls behind her shoulder.

"Mhmm. The smell woke me up," I admit, sheepish.

"When's your flight?" She asks.

"Like 2 hours." I complain. "Gotta leave soon."

I pop a strawberry in my mouth and set my mug down. "I'm going to go grab my bags so I'm ready."

I retreat halfway down the hall when I hear footsteps. 

Brody.

"What's up?" I fold my arms.

"Hey, um. This is sort of awkward but... Did you guys go out last night? Late, I mean." He asks.

"Oh, no. Um, but Brooks did. He had to go get something or whatever." I shrug, hoping I'm coming across as equally as blasé as I don't feel.

"Had to get something –at 1 AM?" Brody repeats, giving me an uneasy look.

"I didn't grill him, Brody," I say, defensive.

"Course not. It's just, he came back and was outside for a while. I didn't see you so–" He pauses. "I was just wondering what was up."

"You and me both," I agree.

"OK, then."

We stand together, both waiting. I know we're both thinking of our woodpile conversation.

A gnawing suspicion of something stirs inside me.

"Just –be careful." Brody turns to walk away.

Brody means well and he's not wrong to worry, I know that. Lately Brooks has been tossing up so many red flags I'm wondering if I shouldn't just wave a white one. Call it what it is.

As I stare at Brooks in the driver's seat, I don't really care where he was at 1 AM.

"Cheap goodbye?" Brooks kisses my hand.

"The cheapest," I half smile.

I slide from his truck until my feet collide with the Departures pavement.

"Don't forget your bikini," he grins.

"Don't forget yours," I smirk.

Brooks rolls his eyes as I slam the passenger's side door.

His truck zooms away and takes all assurance with it.

Thinking about cheap talk again. Cheap love too. Truth is that love ain't cheap. It's hard; it's really hard. Expensive as hell. I just have to remind myself not to take the fucking money. Thanks, Bleachers.

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