I eventually finished my agonizing story of the toughest time of my life. The day I struggle to put to the back of my mind every day. The day that destroys a slight part of my heart every time I wake up and when I go back to bed. At first, I wasn't sure I was ready to tell him, sure I knew I liked him and for some reason, that I'm still not sure of, I trust him and he makes me feel safe. Yet, as soon as he told me about his past relationship, all the horrible things that woman said and did to him I knew I had to tell him. We were both broken of course even though they were different types of broke I thought maybe just maybe we could cope with the pain of the past together.
At this point I realised Louis was letting out sobs they weren't the loud type that I had been letting out while trying to speak but they were still there, his eyes that look like the ocean were now red and puffy, it hurt to see him like this.
"Isla?" He breathes out "I'm so sorry about your little girl, I can't imagine the pain that caused you and I bet still causes you, I feel so stupid getting all upset over some stupid sex when you've been through something so horrendous, I'm so sorry, I would love to tell you I'll fix it for you that I'll make the world a better place for you and give you the happy life you deserve but I know I can't do that no matter how much I want to, because I know I can never give you your little angle back but please please know if I could I would" he rambles. I walk to Louis and wrap myself in his arms our heads on each other tight I felt so safe in his arms, I'm just so glad I got to tell him about Bella and I'm glad he told me about his ex.
After a while we pull apart and decide to go back home because it was cold and I was starting to shiver, Louis drove me back to mine and Kaylee's place. The ride was silent tears still streaming down our faces but it wasn't uncomfortable it was the opposite it was comforting almost like Louis knew I didn't want to talk anymore but that he was there if I needed him or wanted to talk it was so nice to have that, I never felt like this with Jamie we dealt with Leah's death differently and just couldn't be there for each other so it felt good to have Louis just there. When we got to mine Louis insisted on walking me to the door but it was answered by Kaylee, "what did you do?" She snaps at Louis "why is she crying?" Failing to notice Lou was all tear-stained to.
"I told him about Bella" I answered not giving Lou time to answer Kaylee.
Kay was shocked, to say the least, "oh Isla, baby I love you, you know? That was brave of you and I'm so proud that must have been so hard"
"I love you too, Kay, it was but Louis was amazing he let me take my time and explain our story and gave me so much support," I say looking at Louis the whole time.
"oh good" she smiled at Louis.
"I'm tired and I wanna go to bed," I say in monotone and I hug Louis goodbye and say night to Kaylee I couldn't cry anymore there were no tears left to come out but I still felt numb and broken, I'll tell Kaylee about Louis tomorrow but right now I need sleep but Kaylee has other plans.
" I know that tonight must have been hard and your probably tired and want me to go away like always but I just can't leave you when I know your hurting because it hurts me too, so I'm just gonna stay here and hug you till one of us falls asleep okay? Or we can talk if you want" she asks more than says.
"Can we talk in the morning Kay because your right it was hard and it made me tired but a cuddle from my second favourite girl would be greatly appreciated?"
Okay, we'll talk when you wake up then yeah ?"
"Yeah" With that, I hug Kaylee and I'm guessing fall asleep to more dreams of the life I'll never have.
Louis' pov:
I drove home and called Liam, I need my best friend right now, I'm hurting. Feelings that I pushed away had come back recently and I couldn't shake them, oh and poor Isla my heart broke for her as she told me about her little girl Bella, I hate this world why do bad things happen to good people?
I called Liam for help, he answered tired, "Liam I need you" I breathed into the phone crying even more tears I didn't know I had, "it hurts."
"Okay Lou I'm coming, are you at home?"
"Yeah."
"Okay Lou I'll be 10 minutes, I need you to calm down for me so we can talk properly when I get there."
"Okay li, I'll try, see you soon mate."
"See you in 10 Lou."
Liam's pov: It's been a long time since Louis called me in the middle of the night crying with that broken voice that hurts to hear, god I hate that woman for everything she put Lou through.
I walk in using a key I have for emergencies, I find Louis a mess on his bed "Hey Lou, I'm here what do you need a buddy." I asked calmly as I pulled him in for a hug.
"She's right li, I am so worthless and you would all be better off without me, I'm no use to any of you I mean look at me, Isla told me tonight that two years ago her little girl died when she was only an hour old and I was utterly useless I just cried and hugged her and told her I was sorry but that's not enough Liam she needs better than me she needs someone who can comfort her, make it better and I can't do that because look at me I'm a broken worthless piece of shit." he cried into my shoulder. Tears escaped my eyes at this point some for Louis and some for Isla.
"Louis, look at me, " he lifted his head to look at me, " you are none of those things, your amazing, your my best friend, the most talented member of one direction and don't tell Zayn I said this but probably the best looking too, your a brilliant big brother and son, your funny, your kind, your anything but all those horrible things she called you and I'm sure you were the best you could have been with Isla tonight, no one would know what to do in that situation Lou, because it can't be fixed and hugs and sorries are all you can give, I love you Lou man I would most definitely not be better off without you so don't ever say shit like that again you hear me," I said, hugging Louis close the way I knew gave him comfort when the pain she caused and the damage she left gets too much.
"Thanks, li, I love you too, I don't know what I'd do without you, oh and I won't tell Zayn, can't have him killing you can we?" Louis says.
"Can you stay Liam?" Louis asks "I don't wanna be on my own."
"Of course I'll stay Lou, oh and it's a good job you'll never have to know what you'd do without me then isn't it?" I say half-serious and a half trying to lighten the mood. With that Louis gets into bed still fully clothed and crying I wait until I hear him snore and then leave to the guest room. Something tells me he'll never get passed what happened and he will always question us he's enough it if he did enough, this isn't the life I want for my best friend, I shut the guest room door, strip to my boxers and climb into bed another stray tear falling at the thought of Lou carrying this pain for he the rest of his life.
