Different Paths to Destiny [Game of Thrones]

2: Childhood's End

" our fate it is sealed
at birth we made a deal "

The Baratheons had been in Winterfell for sometime. Their stay was almost over, they would be returning to the capital with Ned as Hand to the King. The night before their departure, I found a tiny black ribbon tied around my rose perfume. The ribbon had been mine and Jon's signal to meet for years.

My handmaidens helped me undress and get into my sleeping clothes. I waited till I was sure everyone was gone before I snuck out to meet him. He was in our spot, under the thick coverage of trees. I could barely see him in the dark and was beginning to wish I had brought a candle.

"There you are," he said turning to face me. His eyes looked sad. The smile on his lips was like a ghost.

"What's wrong?" I asked him. I noticed he was still wearing his day clothes. "Haven't you gotten changed yet?"

"I've been packing." Something sounded off about his voice. It was hollow and emotionless.

"Packing? Are you going somewhere?" He was quiet and I bounced on my heels getting more and more anxious. "Jon, what's going on?"

"I'm leaving Winterfell."

"What?" I furrowed my brow, genuinely confused.

"I'm going with my uncle to the Wall."

"The Wall," I repeated. A million thoughts ran through my brain, trying to find a scenario where this didn't end badly. I could not imagine Winterfell without Jon. I loved my family, but I would never truly be one of them. Jon was the only person who understood that. We had found a sense of belonging in each other.

"I'm going to join the Night's Watch." His voice still sounded so distant and hollow. I wanted to believe he was playing a trick. If it was a joke, it was a terrible one. But, I would forgive him the moment he cracked a smile.

"No," was all I could manage. It didn't even begin to cover how I felt.

"There's nothing left for me here, Ami." His voice cracked when he used my nickname. For a moment, he sounded like himself again. He was holding back tears. It hit me that this wasn't a cruel joke, it was worse. He was actually leaving me.

I grabbed his hands. "I'm here!"

"You heard Ned, wedding preparations will begin soon. Before you know it, you'll be married to Robb. You will have new responsibilities. Catelyn will start preparing you for the day you are Lady of Winterfell."

"I don't want that, I've never wanted that! It can be different."

"How, Amina? You'll marry him, but be with me? The bastard son produces more bastards?"

"I won't marry Robb. We can run away together!" I was on the verge of tears, but I didn't want to cry. I could not bare to let him see me breakdown. I needed to be strong.

He shook his head. "You've said that for years, but if you meant it we would have run away ages ago. This is your world, Ami. I'm trying to protect you."

"I do not want protection! I want something more than this life. I cannot stand to be locked in this world forever, you know that. Please, Jon, I love you."

"I love you too, that's why I'm doing this. Marry Robb, be happy. You deserve to be happy."

"I'll never be happy without you." Finally the tears that had filled my eyes, spilled over onto my cheeks. I wiped at my face furiously, hoping they'd stop. But it seemed that once they'd started, there was no slowing them. Jon reached up and wiped my face with his thumb. He held my head in his hands, and I put my hand on top of his. "Please don't go."