The Cabin

Part 3

My head pushed up against the logs. The logs that had been worn down by many rain falls, scratched from rocks that were thrown. As I rock in this chair I think about how I disappointed everyone. My failed efforts from the previous night race through my head. The rain still falling in front of me. The pine trees sway from the rough breeze. The gloomy clouds bring sorrow to the porch. My stomach drops and my face falls forward.

The rain had grown angry. Water falling at twice the speed. Calling out in pain.

I reach inside my pocket, grabbing my phone. I go to my voicemails, seeing the same eight that I had listened to so many times. I could almost speak the same lines as they spoke. Replaying them over and over again. The remaining words my family had sent to me weeks ago. Almost like a splash of hope, reminding me that someone did care about me.

Gwens soft yet aggravating tone fills the porch as I play the first message. "Peter! Where are you!? I'm worried, you left without saying anything! Call me please!" My vision flew down to the phone as the second message from her plays "I still haven't heard from you, are you okay?! Just-just call me back... please" My face starts to darken as I hear her beg for me to call. I couldn't call...it would only bring more pain, more suffering.

The rain begins to grow stronger so I lift my body up. I walk back into the house that filled me with so many emotions. I head over to the counter, ignoring the twol and knife that I cleaned up minutes ago. Stepping over my bloody sweatshirt. I pick up the picture of my sixteenth birthday. Mr.Stark's smile brings me hope. I turn the messages to autoplay and his loving message starts to play. "Hey kid... I,ugh. How's school? Is our lab night still on friday? I already ordered tons of shawarma so you better be showing up. Stay safe kid... I love you 3000." As I hear his soft and deep voice, I start to cry. Knowing that he was in denial about me leaving. I regret not going to our lab night. We always ended up blowing something up. I regret not saying goodbye to him. A smile approaches my face as he says he loves me. Faintly, a few words come out of my mouth "I love you too Sir" I place the photo of us back down onto the gray counter.

As I take out the towel from my sink, the next message starts "Peter, its Nat... I'm not really good at this, you know... but I need you to know that we miss you, I miss you. We need you Peter, come back to us. We can figure everything out, that writing on your wrist, everything. You just need to come home okay? If you're listening to this... I hope you are safe, that you've found a place to sleep and make your way back home soon." As I put away the towel and knife I whisper "I miss you too."

My head turns as I look around the house that I used to spend my summers in. The woods that I used to play in. The same woods that me and Sasha would run around in and scrap our knees. This home that used to be joyous and filled with laughter had now turned into a place of despair. A place of no hope. My head falls as I remember that I can't go back to my family. That I can't go back to how things used to be. IF I went back to them, I would be risking everyone's lives.

I rest my arms on the counter as the next message tries to bring me hope. "Hey Peter, it's the wizard. Please come back, everyone here misses you. I miss you so much. Please don't blame yourself for what happened, it wasn't your fault. Love you Peter" His rough voice echoed through the kitchen. As he says his last words, I grab supplies under the sink while looking at the blue sweatshirt on the ground. Laying there, covered in blood, I pick it up and began to clean it as the third message from Gwn plays. "I hope you're okay, I miss you. Everyones so quiet here, Nat and Tony are AWOL, Thor is... well Thor. Banner and Strange are looking after Hollie, who's- well... she's not good. Harley barely visits and I'm just here, existing, without you. Just call me, or better yet- come back. I love you Pete" As Gwen tells me to come back, another tear falls down my face. I missed my spider buddy. I missed eating pizza and shooting webs with her. We would order at least 5 pizzas a week. Arguing over which pizza place was better, which universe had the better pizza. My face fades, these days I don't eat at all. Hearing that Mr.Stark and Nat are AWOL breaks me up every time. Knowing that I caused them pain, tears me up every time. It's better they stay alive and miss me than me seeing them and they die. I hope they move on from this. I'm not worth all the days they had been worried.

My head jolts to the side as my tears become too heavy to hold back. I can't stand the thought of them suffering. A message from an old friend of mine continues the chain. The beloved MJ starts to cry as she explains the state of her wife and daughter "Parker... I-Im struggling to find words. Hollie... she wont wake up. She's been out for awhile now... I-I wish you'd come home Peter. You're the closest thing I have to a friend now. Emily... well. She never sleeps. She cries all night wanting her mommy. There isn't anything I can do. Please Peter, I need your help. I don't think I can do this alone anymore... '' As her message ends I start to remember all the times I babysat Emily. How she was so strong for only being a few years old. Another stabbing pain came from my wrist as I realize that Emily doesn't have one of her moms. Her life shouldn't be filled with tears, it should be filled with happy clouds and rainbows. I start to wish that her mom would wake up soon.  Knowing that Emily was already stronger than me. The remaining blood falls out of my sweatshirt. I place it to the side of the sink, letting the excess water fall into the sink. My head hanging low, I head towards my room.

I see the comfy bed that calls me. The warm gray sheets call my name. I place my phone under the soft pillow as I tuck into the worn out sheets. My Stark hoodie still comforting me, the next message plays from Dr.Banner "Hey Peter, please come back to the tower. I miss you so much... Sasha misses you so much" My head falling on the pillow with tears flowing down. Hearing her name brings me false hope. Knowing that this message was sent before she passed. A flash of light at the end of the tunnel before a train rushes in front of it, destroying that light. Knowing that she was already dead. Her light could no longer shine. The message continues "I miss my other lab buddy. Tony misses you too and so does Harley and Morgan. Morgan keeps asking where you are, just please come back. We really miss you. Love you Peter" My tears falling like a rushing waterfall. My pillow now drenched like many nights before. Morgan shouldn't have to face these problems. Wishing that I could see them all again before my head yells at me. Morgan doesn't deserve a brother like me, I'm just a failure. I remember how she used to look up to me, steal my web shooters and making me 'Spider-Man' songs.

My head continues to ache, telling me that I can't leave this house. I'm a danger, to my family, to the whole world. As I turn off my phone and slowly close my eyes, wasting another day, my eyes burn. It feels like fire on my face, wishing that I would never wake up. A white light flashes from my phone, my brain rattles and thinks how that meant another voice message was sent. I wipe off the burning tears from my face and take my phone from under my pillow. As it turns back on a light blue box appears "Voicemail from Sasha" My heart began to race. The light at the end of the tunnel appeared again, brighter than ever before. Was what I reading true? Did my sister really just leave me a message?