The Cabin

Part 8

As I awoke the room filled with light. I tossed my blankets off and watched my room fill with warm hues of the sun. The light coming in waves as clouds passed, acting like a shield.

I stared at the walls, knowing what this day would bring. I thought I would be sad, feel a deep pain in my soul. But after I had my peace with the moon, I realized that my life could only bring harm. Joy. Joy festered inside me.

I will pass today and see Aunt May once again. Maybe I'll go back to that lovely dream, where I was in that man's arms. Maybe this time I would see his face and remember his name. I could finally rest. I will see my sister in the stars, May in the clouds.

I'll take place beside the moon and ask the questions I so desperately wanted answered.

I'll sleep knowing I did everything I could, my full potential. Maybe one day they'll find my body here, maybe they'll mourn.

I had always wanted to go to Italy- but I wanted to go with my own money, not relying on someone else to pay. Making those plans all by myself and using my own strength and hard work to get there, that would be worth it. Maybe I'll be able to visit from the grave.

I got up and walked through the sunny room and to the kitchen. "I might as well have a nice breakfast" I said with a smile on my face. I grabbed two eggs as I turned the stove on. I put a pan on the flaming stove and cracked the two eggs into it. I grabbed a spatulae and a small paper plate. The edges of the eggs started to dance and pop up, I flipped the eggs over.

A few seconds pass and I start to hum. A soft tune came out of my mouth as I turned off the stove and placed my eggs on the paper plate.

I placed the plate on the table meant for two and sat happily. I began to eat and think of possibilities. "I could tie a rope to the table and fall..." I mumbled as I stared at the table leg "breaking my airway" a few seconds pass "or I could keep up with how most days here end..." I turned my view to the bathroom door. "The tub, that old rusty razor..." I looked back at my breakfast.

A small part of me didn't want to die. The part that had died in the fire, the day before. A few ashes still remained. They tried to give me a whisper of hope, but I refused. I knew my place in this world, I had saved hundreds of people and it was time to save myself from this cruel world.

I finished my food and threw away the plate. I gazed outside and noticed that it was not raining. It usually rained but... but not today. The sun popped through the clouds and shined brighter than ever before. The rays of light bounced on the old cabin and made me wonder about the moon again, how I wanted these questions answered and how I was going to ask them when I reached my place beside the bright moon.

Was the moon jealous of the sun's beauty? Or did it only want to share the light of it's friend? The moon has so confidently worn the sun's gift, acting like it was their own. Did the moon tell planets that the light was borrowed, merely reflected? Or did the moon act like the light was their own?

Did the sun ever grow tired of shining? Did the sun ever feel as though it needed a break? Did it ever have the desire to expand into nothingness and retire into the galaxy. Those few actions would make the world cold, freeze all life that lived.

But what if the sun had grown weary of the moon's behavior and was tired of being a beacon, just for someone else to steal from it?

Sure the sun would think of the consciousness of ending their eternal life but surely the earth would understand. Or would the sun not shining bring so much pain to the earth, that it would give up entirely? Did the earth really rely and care for the sun? Could it truly not live without the sun?

Maybe if the sun explained to the earth why it did its actions, maybe the earth would understand and live on.

That the moon had been using the sun's gift for so many years and never once gave any sign of hope. That the moon had whispered fear into the sun's ears. But still, the sun looked at the moon like a friend- the moon was their for the sun in its times of need, showing true compassion. The sun had been so used to the moon's company that it needed those whispers, needing those words.

There are so many stars in the galaxy, the earth doesn't really need the sun... does it?

But the sun had thought the earth dead, thought it would be easier to be with them again in the heavens. But the earth lies out of sight from the sun, the moon watches the earth and laughs. If the moon would just let the sun see the earth again, maybe the sun wouldn't feel this way. Yet the moon still blocked the earth, shunning the sun from that reward. Giving the sun tiny glimpses of its green friend. But continuing to tell the sun that its dear friend was gone.

True these feelings the sun has aren't fixed over a day but the earth could help. The earth could help the sun confess and fight the moon. The moon took from the sun and never really explained their intent.

But still, the sun saw the moon as a friend. Even though the moon brought great pain to the sun- the sun couldn't give the moon up.

There would even be a few days each month when the moon would leave. But no matter the darken sky, the moon was still there. Almost like a parasite that lived with the sun.

The sun would have fun asking it questions and playing along with their lies. So naive but so hopeful. The sun just wanted to see its fellow stars again, to see a life of peace.

I closed my eyes as I pictured my family. I may be an only child and an orphan, but I had a sister and a father. Sash always supported me and loved me. She was my sister, though not from blood. Mr.Stark was like a dad to me. I always said that I would call him that one day. My eyes opened as I knew I would never have the chance to call him dad.

I continue to think about them, but I knew it would only bring me more pain.

I started to hear the soft chirps of beautiful birds outside my window. They rested on the tree branches as they talked. I could hear the soft crashes of the river just outside my door.

I turned back to the bathroom, I walked inside and stared into the mirror. I saw the sad shell of a man, the once known Spider-Man.

I took off my shirt and saw my binder. I reached into the cabinet and grabbed the old rusty razor, remembering the night that I had cut my hair.

Was that two or three nights ago? I had lost track of time, it was only a distraction. Causing me to panic and worry about how long I stayed confined.

I turned to the tub with the razor in my hand. My naked forearms were pale, showing the blue and purple veins running through them. They had goosebumps from being in the frigid house. I took a step closer to the tub, taunting my arms. I knew what I was going to do, the rest of my life planned out.

As I stepped inside the bathtub, I pictured my loved ones. Only the happy memories filled my head and replayed. Some people say your life flashes before your eyes and it's uncontrollable but I had complete control. I saw me meeting Sasha, my internship with my dad, my sixteenth birthday, the first avenger meeting, and many more memories.

My head was at peace, my eyes closed, my breath slow and my heart slower. I was ready to make the final moves of my life, two long vertical cuts down my arms. I drew the razor close but dropped it in fright.

A knock at the front door...