My Only 1 (Njomziana)

9

"What do you wanna do today?" Julia asked, rubbing sleep from her eyes. She set two plates of scrambled eggs and toast on the table in front of us.

"I kinda need to get my stuff from Ariana's house. But I don't wanna talk to her. Or see her. Or get anywhere near her." I said stubbornly, starting on my food.

"I can go pick it up for you. Just give her a call and tell her to expect me."

"I said, I don't want to talk to her."

"Njomza," she stared at me intently.

"What,"

"You can't avoid her forever. Just so you know."

"I'm not. I'm just not ready yet." I lied. I don't think I would ever talk to Ariana again. Her presence would always bring back the humiliation I felt, and the thought that she probably ran off to Mikey because I wasn't good enough for her. 

"Ight, whatever you say. What do you wanna do today?" 

"I don't know. I have an album I'm working on but-" I cut off abruptly. That was Ariana's album, which I worked on with Ariana. "You know what, never mind. Yeah I don't have much to do. I guess I'll just hang around."

"Cool," 

We finished our food in silence, and I took my phone out of my pocket while Julia went upstairs to change. Shit, it's out of batteries. I'll just ask Julia for a charger when she gets back. 

For now, I needed to come up with a plan on how to get my stuff back. Any normal person would probably just call and ask for it back, but I don't know if I can bring myself to do that. Maybe Julia could call her, but then, I doubt that Ariana would hand my stuff over to person she barely knew, even if she hated me. Did Ariana hate me though? She had no reason to. I'm supposed to be the one hating her, and trust me, I do. But no matter how much i try to deny it, part of me still hoped that we could fix all this and be back in each others' arms again. 

I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. I needed to summon up some courage. I need to talk to Ariana again, probably for the last time. As much as I hated the thought of contacting her, I knew I couldn't just leave her like this without a word of farewell. Hah...word of farewell would perhaps be an under exaggeration. I swear I'm going to cuss this bitch out when I talk to her again.

"You look deep in thought," Julia returned to the kitchen in an oversized grey sweater and leggings.

"Mmhm. Do you have a charger? My phones dead."

"Of course. There's one by the sofa over there." She nodded towards the living room. I thanked her and quickly plugged my phone into the charger. It lit up after a few minutes, and I let out a sigh of relief.

As soon as my lock screen appeared, I could see about 20 missed calls from Ari from last night. She hasn't called this morning though. Maybe she just hasn't woke up yet—but she usually woke up way before me. I felt my stomach sink down to my toes. What if she hurt herself? W-what if she got into an accident. Oh no. Oh fuck no. She'd been drinking a lot and her car wasn't in the driveway. No no no no no. 

I typed in my password as fast as my fingers would allow me, my heart racing. I went to my missed calls and tried to call her back, but after a few rings, it went to voicemail. I tried again. 1 ring. 2 rings. 3 rings. Still no answer. Panic started filling my body, and I decided to call Courtney instead.

"Njomza?"

"Hi Court. Where's Ariana?"

"Um, I thought you were supposed to be with her." Courtney paused for a moment before replying.

"It's...complicated. But i-is she alright?" 

"What do you mean? Why wouldn't she be?" 

"She's not picking up my calls. Courtneywherethefuckareyou."

"WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU? WHAT'S GOING ON?" She practically yelled, and I held my phone away from my ear.

"Is Aaron home?"

"...No."

"WHERE THE FUCK ARE Y'ALL?" It was my turn to yell now. I can't possibly think of where Court and Aaron could've went.

"Well, since you and Ariana were out having some fun, I decided to meet up with some of my friends as well, and we got kinda drunk so I stayed over. Aaron went to visit his mom or something."

"IS ANYONE HOME?"

"Uh...you and Ariana? Except it doesn't sound like you're home right now."

"Ok ok," I sucked in a deep breath, trying to stay calm, even though I'm about to lose it. "I'm gonna go home right now. Stay calm, I'll call you once I get there." 

"Who were you yelling at?" Julia leaned on the leather sofa as I hung up the phone, an expression of bemusement spread across her face.

"Julia, listen," I unplugged my phone from the charger and turned to her. "I need you to drive me back hom- to Ariana's house."

"Why? I thought you were done with her." 

"I need to go check on her. Please, just drive me there. I'll explain in the car."

Julia's face hardened, and she narrowed her eyes, staring at me for a moment before replying.

"You already wanna go back to her? Fine. Let's go."

Without another word, she whipped around, grabbed her car keys from her purse, and walked out of the house. I raised my eyebrow in confusion. What does she have against Ariana? She can't be jealous...Julia's just about the straightest person I knew. But anyways, it doesn't really matter. Julia's gonna have to deal with it. For now, I need to make sure Ariana is alright.

I ran out after Julia, my heart in my throat. I don't know why I still cared for Ariana so much. Well actually, I do. She was (keyword: was) my best friend (and girlfriend, but we don't talk about that), and I knew I couldn't just go on living my life without knowing whether she was alright, no matter what she has done to me. I'm not ready to forgive her yet, but I certainly don't want her hurt, or worse, dead. 

I explained everything to Julia on the car ride over to Ari's house, but I don't think she was listening. The only thing she said to me was ask me for the directions. By the time we arrived, my legs were shaking uncontrollably, my hand weak as I reached to open the car door.

"Thanks Julia." I whispered, my voice trembling slightly. 

"Bye," Julia's voice was cold and firm.

Trying to keep my heart from pounding out of my chest, I slipped out of the car and stumbled to the front door of Ariana's house. I'm surprised I didn't fall over the second I stood up, with my legs like jelly and all. 

Please be alright.

I rang the doorbell.

Please be alive.

I heard Toulouse and the other dogs bark.

Please.

I must've stood there for a whole minute before I realized that Ariana wasn't coming to get the door.