Thoughts - Which make me awake, Which make me cry

ɪ ʀᴜɪɴᴇᴅ ɪᴛ

How easily you can think that you are special for her

How much you will try to make her yours but at the end she will be with someone else

Every single time when I try to do something which can make some space of my love in her heart but I know it isn't possible

I am trying to not to cry,
I am trying to change myself and be happy,
But shit man this OPIUM (Tears) always come.

I thought its her birthday a special day for her I won't give her pain, I won't cry . But God why you are doing this to me. What have I asked from you just some love from her and I even can't get it.

I thought I will sleep less disturb her more make her happy but It isn't possible because I am not the special one.

"Sometimes overthinking kills your feelings because at the end you didn't get what you desired"

I overthink alot I think that she will be with me we will have a great life. But now this overthinkings kills all my desire.

I know I can't get her love but atleast I can pray. Who knows what God have decided.

It's hard when she says from now on you won't cry but what can I do these opium are meant to be flow by my eyes.

"Sometimes you do think you are her whole life,
But in fact you are just a part of her life...
Don't feel special she got more people"

I always think that ohhh I am special for her. Yippee we are together like I am so much crazy but at the other side I am sensitive too. I just cry alot when she is not here and when I feel that I am not the right one for her.

God damn I am forcing my love too her. I thought I will disturb her and be happy today instead I am just crying now.

ALOT of things made me happy today thanks for it . But some of things which are still in my mind I can't write over here . Like it is said that you need to keep some feelings in your heart till death so I will keep those feelings with me