Thick As Blood - Nestor Oceteva

5. Pain & Gain

I barely mentioned the possibility of going to the party and Miguel threw a temper tantrum, to save everyone from his wrath I stayed in. When we had gotten home and they arrived back from the funeral Miguel was looking for something to fight about. He came in spouting about how ungrateful I was to have a mother like Dita. Things had blown up and would have been a lot worse if a little boy hadn't cried from his mother's arms.

"Who is that?" I asked Miguel.

"This is Cristobal, your nephew."

I looked at my brother in shock. I wanted to yell at him. I wanted to scream my lungs out but he didn't know. He couldn't have known, just how much seeing a toddler would hurt.

I felt my lungs tightening; my breathing was shallow and my face flushed. I couldn't hear anything above the blood pumping through my head, thumping in my ears. My beautiful boy. I fumbled and stumbled my way out the door. I think I managed to say I needed air or maybe I just imagined it. I made it to the patio.

I pulled in deep breaths, as much as I could but it wasn't enough. The air was suffocating me and I could once more hear the boys cries so I ran. I ran across the meticulously preened grass until it reached the boundary and turned to bush. I leapt the fence using a post to clear it and continued full sprint into the copse of trees. I jumped fallen logs and swung along low hanging branches.

I didn't know how long I ran for but eventually the burn in my lungs told me to stop. I climbed a tree and sat on a high branch. The sun was setting and I could see the whole countryside from my position. I looked at my empty hands, hands that should have been holding my son. I miss you.

I hated that seeing my nephew had triggered a response like this. I also hadn't expected to be told I had a nephew but then again I hadn't told Miguel that he lost one either. For the first time in a long time I cried.

Alexander was only three years old when he died. KJ and I had been going back and forth between Novosibirsk and Lodi getting out companies set up. The three of us were meant to be on a flight back to Novosibirsk but the new building failed an electrical inspection. I stayed so I could sort it and told them to continue on and I would meet them there in a few days.

Some rivals of the Bratva, the IRA, had been on a spate of attacks that I didn't know about. A bomb was planted in the SUV my husband and son were travelling in. I was told they died instantly but I still imagine Alex's crying and screams in my nightmares. Sometimes, I wish I had been with them so I wouldn't have to live with this pain.

When it was completely dark I could just see the lights of the mansion, east of my position. I made my way down the tree and took my time walking leisurely back. I wanted to, and didn't want to, see Cristobal equally. In the end I decided I would put my feelings aside and meet my nephew. After all, it's not his fault his cousin was killed.

The large clock in the living room showed it was just past midnight. I stepped in from the patio and found Miguel and Nestor sitting on the couch with tumblers of whiskey. I sat beside Nestor and took his glass, tipping it back in one gulp. I was exhausted so I lay back and closed my eyes for a moment. I could feel them both staring at me.

"I had a son, Alexander. A bit older than Cristobal." I stood up and refilled the glass to the brim and made my way to the stairs. "Goodnight."

+++

When I woke in the morning I had missed calls and texts from Letty. I didn't bother reading the texts, I just called her back.

"Letty are you alright?"

"Yeah, I was just hoping you would've come last night. I want you to teach me to fight. Please?"

"Sure, I'll let you know when I'm free."

I looked at the time and it was already 10am. I threw the blankets back and padded my way to the shower. I washed my hair twice, there were still twigs, leaves and dust in it from last nights run. When I was done I dried my hair and put it in a fishbone braid that fell to my waist. I had a small victory when I found Emily had already left for the day. One less thing to worry about.

"Would you like to come to work with me today?"

I gawked at my brother as he spoke. I had never been involved in the business side, I don't know why he would start now. Don't get me wrong, I knew all about what the cartel did, I was just never a part of it.

"Yeah nah, I think I'll pass. Can I use your laptop though?"

He slid the device along the table and I quickly found the flight booking sight. I was not looking forward to the 24 hour flight.

"Why are you booking flights to Russia?" Nestor asked as he placed a coffee beside me. Miguel's eyebrows shot up and he made his way to my other side to see.

"I'm not paying for you to fly first class halfway across the world."

I turned to Miguel incredulously. "I wasn't asking you to." I booked the tickets without even looking at the price. "Money is no concern to me."

"How is it a 25 year old can afford that?" He asked in disbelief.

I didn't think this morning would be spent discussing my financial viability.

"I own my own businesses across the globe and my father-in-law is head of the Bratva."

"WHAT THE FUCK LILIANA!" I could have eased them into that but I chose to rip the bandaid off instead. "My office now!"

I looked between the two men, one fuming and the other looking a bit sad. I smiled gently to Nestor but he just shook his head and followed Miguel down the hall to the office.