Chapter Thirty-Two

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chapter thirty-two 

I walked through the pack lands with Ace beside me in his wolf form. He's grown, he was still smaller than me but still big for his age. Pack members stared, maybe because it was the first time I had ever actually walked through the pack lands peacefully or because of Ace. 

I heard Ace whine as he stopped abruptly before turning around and running behind me. I looked over my shoulder at him. He looked scared, really fucking scared. I crouched down and let him jump onto me slightly. I ran my fingers through his fur while I whispered comforting words to him. 

He was still scared but not as much as he had been before. I asked him to shift back and he did just that. Once he was back to normal again, he pointed a shaky finger behind me and I whirled around to look at what was behind me, but saw nothing. 

I looked around a little more but I still didn't see what he had seen. I looked around for one of my friends and saw Zander, of all of my friends he was actually outside? 

"Oi! Zand!" I shouted and gained his attention immediately. He jogged over to me and Ace, I saw him look at Ace questionably, but he said nothing, he knew about Ace already I knew that but he was probably surprised that he was with me and not at home. 

"Look after Ace for a little bit, will you?" I said and he nodded. Zander crouched down and picked Ace up, and surprisingly, Ace let him. 

"Why though?" 

"He saw something that scared him, so I'm gonna go take a look around the barrier." I said and walked away from them. Ace must've known what I was doing since he shouted "Be careful pa!"  

I walked straight towards the woods, not even bothering looking around the houses. If Ace had seen something, it must've been in the woods. Either it was some type of animal he had not seen before or it was actually someone who had made it onto the pack lands without me or anyone else noticing. And I always noticed if something had made it through our barriers, nothing could go unnoticed from me. 

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

Footsteps, and right behind me at that. I can never get a rest or a peaceful day. 

Fucking hell. 

"I know you're following me, so stop before I rip you to shreds, moron." I said, to whoever was behind me and I heard the footsteps stop. That caused me to stop. 

"You've changed." I turned around and was not surprised when I saw it was the man Ares had with him. I narrowed my eyes at him and looked him up and down. 

I could take him if I had to. He was probably as strong as me or so. 

"Who the fuck are you?" I asked, voice low and demanding. The man studied me for a moment before he shook his head with a chuckle. 

"You don't remember me? How could you forget me... baby brother? " He said, and something in my mind clicked. Crazy right? 

When you really need me, I'll come to you okay?

I took a step back and almost stumbled had I not been holding onto the side of a tree. He took a step closer and I held up my hand to stop him. I put my other hand on my chest, over my heart. It was beating like fucking crazy. 

"Bla--" 

"Shut the fuck up! I don't want to fucking hear it, okay?! You're a fucking ghost, nothing more! You're dead, you died the same fucking day momma did!" I yelled, I tilted my head back against the tree and looked up at the sky.

"Blake, hold on--" 

"Shut up already! You are fucking dead! My mind is playing tricks on me! You're dead! My brother is dead! Nikias is fucking dead! He's not alive! Get it the fuck together Blake!" I yelled, grabbing at my hair in frustration. I sank to my knees, and looked up at the sky. 

"He's dead, Nikias is dead. I'm hallucinating, Declan left that's the reason for my hallucinations. I'm not going crazy. I'm not going crazy.." 

I got up slowly when I felt my breathing become more ragged. 

It's my fault. It was my fault Declan left. He got tired, he left. He left to go back to his home. It was my fault. It's always my fault. I couldn't save my grandma or my brother, and that's why I'm hallucinating. That's it. It's my fault. 

Ace is gonna grow up without a dad if I don't get it together. I'm gonna let him down, I'm going to let another person I care about down. 

I'm going crazy. 

"-ake" 

"-lake- panic att--" 

I looked around quickly and bolted in the direction of my house. I heard footsteps behind me again and I ran faster. When I saw the outline of my house I ran even faster. I ran through the back door, ripping it off its hinges. I made a straight beeline for the basement. I saw the chains that had been there for years, the ones Declan used for me, still there. 

I looked the door and put a thick wood plank in front of it. I walked to the chains and put them around my wrists and ankles. Once I was finished I slumped against the wall. 

I tried to calm my rapidly beating heart down by thinking of something I loved but the only thing that came up in my mind was Declan and a wave of sorrow washed over me but it didn't help. 

"Who in the fuck--" I heard someone start to say and then a groan followed by a cough. 

"Blake? You in here?" Zander's voice, if Zander was here that meant. . . so was Ace. I sat up straighter and looked over at the door. I saw the door knob rattle a little bit, Zander had most definitely smelt my scent. 

"Yeah, I'm here." I called out and I heard him try to open the door once again. "Zander don't open it. Just. . . let me stay in here okay? I'll come out soon, but take care of Ace for me okay?" 

"No alph-- Blake, I'm not leaving you in here." Zander declared and tried to open the door again. I let out a low growl and he stopped trying to open up the door. 

"F-Fine. I'll leave you and your depressing self in there. You know. . . Declan would hate to see you like this, Blake." 

"Well, it's his fault that I'm like this. So, he can go fuck himself." 

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