"baby." he ran his fingers through my hair.
"yeah?"
the rain came down against the windows of my apartment. "did you feel... no, that's not it." he exhaled softly as he gathered his words. "why do you want to die? why did you try to kill yourself?"
i looked at the fan spinning on the ceiling. "i felt like a burden, especially to you. you were the one person i was staying alive for, my best friend, and you were gone. physically gone when you're on tour and emotionally gone here, when you're high."
"i don't wanna lose you, i don't wanna hate you. i don't wanna do you like that." he whispered, running his fingers through my hair. "i need you. you're not a burden. okay baby?"
"okay."
"promise me."
"what am i promising?"
"that you won't kill yourself. that you won't hurt yourself. i can't lose you." gus wrapped his arms around my waist. "i need you."
"okay."
"promise me."
i hesitated. "i can't... because what if-"
"baby, please."
"gus-"
"please." his voice had gotten increasingly desperate.
i exhaled. "i promise."
"okay." he breathed. "okay." his hand cupped my cheek and his thumb traced my lips. "i love you. i really do. i need you and i need you to know that you're not a burden. you'll never be. i mean, you're my fiancé for gods sake. i just wish you saw yourself the way i see you. if i ever lost you..." he paused. "i'd never forgive myself for losing the best thing in my life. cause you are the best thing in my life. i don't believe in a god, but if i did, he made you perfect. he sculpted you with his hands, made you absolutely, amazingly, breathtakingly perfect." he smiled at me. "i can't wait to marry you."
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the last thing i wanna do (lil peep fanfic)
Fanfictionlillian was always peep's friend, he was there for her through thick and thin. but she's introduced into his lifestyle and a lot of stuff changed TW: sexual assault, rape, suicide, self harm, drugs
