Just around the corner

Chapter 5

After sitting for a little longer with Jason, he offered me a lift home. Walking through the front door both girls jump at me, questioning me on my where-abouts. "Misty and Lacy, please girls. Give me some breathing room. I'll explain everything to you" I say to the girls, slowly making my way to the couch.

We sit together in the lounge room and I tell them everything that had happened. There were tears from all 3 of us. "Mum, who drove you home?" Misty asks. I freeze. How do I answer that without them thinking that I have moved on from their father? "Ummm, a friend?" It came out more as a question. "Why have we never met this friend?" She asks. "Cause we only became friends today?" Why am I responding with questions? Laura, get your shit together

"Okay, girls" both looking at me expectantly. "His name is Jason. He was one of the first responders at the accident scene. He noticed that my bag was still in the car after I had been taken by the ambulance. He bought it to the hospital and saw that I was sitting outside. He offered me a lift home" I tell them and watch as Misty's eyes light up and Lacy's become angry and distant. "Lac..." I was not able to get the rest of her name out before she storms off to her bedroom and slams the door.

"Mum, don't worry about her. She is just a hormonal little shit today" Misty tells me while trying to lighten the mood. "She probably thinks I am going to forget about your Dad. I promise I will never forget about him" I tell her. "Mum, if something were to grow between you and this new friend of yours, I will not be mad. You deserve to be happy too" "When did you become so wise Mis. I should be giving you relationship advice. But I can tell you this now, I don't see anything happening between my new friend and I. He was just at the right place at the right time. He saw I needed a shoulder to cry on" I tell her. Giving her a hug.

"I should go and talk to Lace" I say to Misty, pulling myself off the couch while telling her. I walk down the hallway to Lacy's room. I knock on her door and wait for her to answer. "Come in" I hear between sobs. I open the door and go in closing the door behind me. I see Lacy sitting on the floor hugging her bear that is dressed in one of Alex's old shirts.

"Lacy" I say while sitting down next to her. "Why are you so upset baby?" I ask her. "You are going to forget about Dad and move on in your life and that is not fair to Dad" Lacy cries out. I throw my arm around her shoulder bringing her into me. "I'll never forget about your father Lacy. Never ever. I don't think I will ever be able to move on fully. But your Dad wouldn't want me to live a lonely life forever. You and Misty will grow up and leave home and where would that leave me baby girl?" I ask her.

"Why would you want to move on Mum. Dad was your world" I cut her off. "He still is my whole world Lacy. Along with you and your sister. I will never forget him. Plus Lacy. I never said I was seeing this person again, okay. He just drove me home because I didn't have a car" I say to her while hugging her tight to my side. I pull myself up off the floor. "Did you girls eat?" I ask Lacy as I am walking to her door. "No, we were waiting for you" She answers back.

"Okay then. I will go and find something for dinner alright?" I say as I leave her room. Making my way into the kitchen, I look in the fridge for something to cook. Realising that I was meant to take Lacy shopping after school, I never got around to pulling anything out of the freezer to cook. "Girls, looks like pizza tonight" I yell out to them. I pull out the pizza shop menu and make the order.

Forty minutes later the pizza has arrived and we are sitting in the lounge watching reruns of Criminal Minds together. There is no talking between us which is actually more scary than if we were talking. My mind keeps going back to how warm and right it felt leaning on Jason this afternoon. I still should not be thinking about him like this but I can't help the way I feel. He gave me the chills but in a good way. He never judged me for the way I acted.

Misty and Lacy both give me a kiss on my cheek and tell me they are heading off to bed. I wish them both a good night and go back to staring off into space.

How did my life become such a mess? Alex has not been gone for long and I am already lusting after another man. "Seriously Laura?" I question myself. I question my sanity. I question my life's purpose. I lay on the couch and close my eyes. Falling asleep within moments.

**

I'm startled awake by Misty shaking my shoulders, letting me know that she and Lacy are going to school. I pull myself up off the couch to the bathroom. I strip off for a shower and look in the mirror at my naked body. I have bruises from where the seatbelt sat and locked in place when the car was spinning. My shoulder is killing me. The adrenaline has worn off and my body is feeling all the aches and pains.

I start the shower making the water as hot as I can manage. Standing under the spray I can feel my muscles relax. Everything is again catching up to me again. I slide down the shower wall and bring my knees to my chest and hug my legs tight. Dropping my head between my legs, I let out all my emotions that I have built up.

Everything, from Alex's death, my girls growing up without their father, my car accident and then feeling something for a complete stranger has brought me to tears. Not just crying, but ugly crying. The kind of crying that you see Kim Kardashian doing in those memes on facebook.

I don't know how long I have been sitting on the floor but the water has run cold. I drag myself off the floor and wrap myself in a towel. I lay down on my bed, reminiscing about the old days. I close my eyes and let the darkness take over.