Just around the corner

Chapter 12

Jason POV

My phone beeps alerting me to a new message. I pull it out of my pocket and see Laura's name flash across the screen. The smile that lights up my face causes the boys to hang shit on me. I open the message and the smile is abruptly removed

Laura- Hi. I'm sorry I am messaging you this instead of calling you or meeting up with you, but I think that we should not continue this. You have done nothing wrong, I just need to focus on my girls. Good luck with everything for the future for you. Laura xx

I can feel my heart breaking bit by bit. I want to cry but I know that isn't really manly in a workplace full of men. Micky notices my change in attitude. "Jase, you wanna go get some lunch?" Micky asks with a nod of his head. I get up and follow him out of the station. "What's got you sour, man?" He asks as soon as we are out of ear shot of everyone else. "Laura messaged me" Is all I say back to him.

He cocks an eyebrow, waiting for more. "Told me that it isn't going to work out between us. She needs to focus on her kids" I explain further. "Well that's fair man. They are her kids after all" "But that's just it, Mick. They have been through a lot in the past year and a half. Laura's husband died and what she told me about her kids, they are dictating her life" I can't get my head around the message still. We had such a great night and then all of a sudden, it's not going to work.

"Jason, have you thought this is more about her feelings and not the kids. She lost the main person in her life, man" Micky tries to reason with me. "Micky, you weren't there on Saturday night. She was happy, she was laughing. She kissed me at the end of it" Micky cuts me off "Maybe it was just the heat of the moment Jason" I cut back in "Nah man it wasn't. She was happy to be out with me. She was relaxed and not uptight. She wanted to be out with me. Something has happened with her girls since Saturday night"

My mind is stewing. I was feeling crushed and broken, but to respect Laura's wishes, I will not contact her and I will move on with my life. I just hope she is happy.

Laura POV

It has been just over a month since I messaged Jason. He never responded to my message and I haven't seen him around. I went back into my shell. The girls from work would ask me out on Friday nights but each and every time I would decline. After the 3rd Friday I declined they stopped asking me to go out. I know Chelsea was upset with me because of it, but I needed to make sure my kids were ok.

It is Friday night again, I am at home on the couch in my trackies with a tub of ice-cream and I'm watching Beaches. I love me a bit of Bette Midler. I am a sobbing mess by the time the movie has finished. My ice-cream has melted. All alone on a Friday night. Both girls are out. I know this is wrong to say about my kids but I am starting to resent them. More Lacy than Misty. Lacy is the reason I am home alone. For the past 5 Friday's, she has not been home. She goes to her friends houses every weekend and I am here, trying to do the right thing for her.

Jason crosses my mind constantly. I have to fight the urge to contact him. "I did what was best for my family" I keep saying to myself on repeat. I fake a smile every day but internally, I am a mess. But I still am doing this for all the right reasons.

I look at the time and groan to myself. It isn't even 10pm. There is nothing else for me to do tonight. The house is clean, laundry is washed and folded. All that is left is to go to bed, so that is what I do. I walk into my room and straight into my bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. I look at myself in the mirror and see the broken shell of a woman in front of me. My eyes are dull and lifeless with bags underneath them. The colour in my cheeks is pale and washed out. The depression is real. I can feel the tears build up in the corners of my eyes.

"Why? Just someone tell me why my life is such a fucking mess?" Sometimes I think everything would be better if it was me who died instead of Alex. Lacy would be more happier if I wasn't around. She would be happier if Alex was still here and she wouldn't have made such a big deal if it was him moving on.

I am a failure. I am worthless and I am hopeless. I am not worthy of anyone's time and especially I am not worthy of anyone's love. Maybe, this is for the best. Maybe, I was meant to be alone.

I finish up in the bathroom and climb under the blankets in bed. I cry myself to sleep, like I have done for the past 35 nights. I just wish Lacy could see what she is doing to me, but of course, she gets what she wants each and every single time. She is out living her life and I am at home a miserable mess.

**

Monday morning rolls around in the blink of an eye. I get up and do my normal routine and get ready for work. I bypassed the make up this morning as my face has broken out. I'm in the kitchen when I hear the girls come down the hallway. Misty is still angry with Lacy with the way she is treating me. Lacy always has a smug look on her face. She knows she is destroying everything but to her it is the best thing in the world.

I turn to look at both of the girls. Lacy's smugness has reached a new level today. "You look like shit mum. But then again you deserve it" Lacy spits out. Misty's mouth hits the floor with the shock of what just came from Lacy's mouth and I can't help my next move. I walk over to Lacy and slap her across the face. I watch as her head turns to the right and I watch as the bright red hand print blooms across her cheek.

"I hate you" Lacy spits at me. "The feeling is mutual, you ungrateful little bitch" I spit back. The guilt hits me straight away, but I don't let it show. Enough is enough. I grab what I need for work and leave the house, slamming the front door behind me.

I get in my car, start it up and drive away. The tears are falling down my face the whole drive to work. Pulling into my parking space, I can't bring myself to get out of the car. I must have sat here for about half an hour before there is a knock on my window. I open my eyes and look out to see Chelsea standing there. The look on her face is a pure mixture of sadness and anger.

"Get out of the car Laura" She yells at me through the window. I slowly pull myself together to get out of the car. I don't know what I am getting out to. Is Chelsea going to slap me like I did to Lacy? I get out of the car and Chelsea forcefully pulls me into her. Her arms wrap tightly around my torso.

"Why didn't you call me? I thought we were friends Laura?" She whispers into my hair. I can't answer her. The sobbing has taken over my body. "Misty called me and told me what has happened. She has told me what has happened in your house since you had that date. Why did you not tell me anything at all?" Chelsea expresses.

I pull myself together to at least form a proper sentence. "I do everything for those girls. Everything. I even put my own happiness below them but it still isn't enough for them. Well it isn't enough for Lacy" I wipe my face with the sleeve of my jacket. "Laura, I will take Lacy to mine for a bit. I will try and get it through her head that her attitude and behaviour are on her. You both need time apart" Chelsea tells me.

"It won't fix me though will it? I am nothing right now and I don't ever see this changing. My happiness is worth nothing. Chelsea, I was ready to end my life Friday night. The only thing that will make Lacy happy is if I am not around anymore. I ruin her life" I hear the slap then I feel the sting. "Don't you ever talk like that again. Lacy is not your only child. Misty also needs you still. Don't ever let me hear you say stupid shit like that again" Chelsea turns and walks away. I watch her leave, holding my stinging cheek. She turns around just as she is about to go into the building "Go home Laura, you are of no use here in the state you are in" she yells out and walks into work.

I get back in my car and leave.