Dalliance: Part II

here's to you.

Dearest readers,

I am more than enchanted and delightful to be able to write this story with your undying support and love. Part two wasn’t really a plan for me. I didn’t exactly think about having another dalliance. But your eagerness, the hope in your faces when you ask me if there will be another story coming up, that was what made me shovel a bit more in my “writer’s magic box” to find a new story to tell.

It turned out it wasn’t coming from my magic box. It came from my heart, from a distant memory I had in the past.

This is not about him – whoever you’re thinking. This, is for him. And even if you ask me whoever this book is for, I will not tell you. Nor will I tell you if what you’re guessing is right, or wrong.

I was about to change the ending of the story when Neil (in real life) decided to turn back, walk away, and be over and done with. But I decided against it. Maybe I should just leave it as it is. I should just let you read what I’ve written before the tragic happened. I thought, just for the slightest moment of our almost there relationship, there was a possibility. I thought it’s going to be okay. That I just have to wait. I thought I could start over, try it again, and not make the same mistake, ever again.

It felt like I am forcing myself to be with him, to like him, to love him even more – because I really want to. I do. Yet I realized that love can’t be forced. It can never be. Love will find you. And no matter how many times I hear this statement, I don’t listen.

It doesn’t matter who you want. Or who you need. You’re still not there. You are not in the future. You don’t know anything yet. The girl you’re holding right now or the boy you’re smiling at, they may not end up with you. The girl you have a crush on, or the boy you’re falling for, they may end up with you. Just not now. Not soon. Not later. Only fate can tell. Only your choices can change the path you take.

I have been accustomed to the idea that a relationship will be much better if you have met the person for years. Or if you have been best friends since who knows when. That’s why I thought Neil and I were going to be perfect. Like, superstars.

But like I said, fate will always win.

There is nothing else stronger than love. So be careful with it. You don’t know when it might hit you. And if it does, it might hit you hard. And you’d be stuck in a surge of euphoria. So take care of it. Take care of her, take care of him. Take care of each other. If there would be a time that you think you’re losing, or you think that there’s no hope for the both of you anymore, don’t quit. Keep fighting. If your love is not worth fighting for, what’s the point? Or what was?

Neil, if you have ever come upon this book, here’s what I have to tell.

Sorry. Because I have made your life a living hell. I admit. Because I’ve left you in tears before. Because I started the spark, and ended it. Because you think I’m just playing with you. Sorry. Because I was too filled with doubt, I was too blinded by my lack of trust.

Thank you. Because you gave me a story to remember. A past I could not forget. A hundred of lessons that I’ve learned. Thank you. Because you gave me one of the best adventures of all – even if we had hit a dead end.

Thank you. Because you made my night. You made all of my nights and days and months and years. I could never ask for more.

I don’t want to say farewell, because we would see each other again sooner or later. And it’s also unimaginably impossible to not bump into you in the halls or wherever. But I’m going to say farewell. Not to you. But to us.

Farewell, Neil and Rae. 

Farewell to our dalliance.